By Jodee Prouse
I believe nothing is more important than family. But what do I mean when I say family? For me, it’s about more than the DNA we share. A surprise in my 23andMe report only made that belief stronger. 
What all this means for me is complicated by the fact that I’m estranged from members of my own immediate family. My relationships with my dad, my mom, and my sister broke down due to alcoholism and continued unhealthy family patterns. 
Our problems with alcohol were deep, starting with my dad’s drinking, which led to my parent’s divorce when I was eight. And it was alcohol addiction and mental illness that took my brother Brett —who also happened to be my greatest friend— when he took his own life in 2012.
For many reasons, including my own happiness and well-being and that of my husband and our own two sons, I made the painful decision to continue to love my father, mother, and sister from afar. I ceased all contact with them more than ten years ago.
<h6>Looking at Family Connections</h6>
So why did I decide to use 23andMe and peer into the genetics that our family shares?
<div id="attachment_29684" style="width: 310px" class="wp-caption alignright"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-29684" src="https://blog-api.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/Jodee-her-brother-300x236.webp" alt="Jodee, as a young girl, and her baby brother Brett" width="300" height="236" class="size-medium wp-image-29684" srcset="https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/Jodee-her-brother-300x236.webp 300w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/Jodee-her-brother.webp 600w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Jodee and her little brother Brett, soon after his birth.</div>
In part, it’s because I’m drawn to the idea of understanding more about my connections to generations past. I have always known about my dad’s side and their roots in England. But I knew little about my mother’s side of the family. Growing up, I only met my mom’s parents, her sister, and that sister’s children, my two cousins. I never met, nor did my mother mention any of her aunts, uncles, cousins, or even grandparents. They were a mystery to me.
After sending in my sample to 23andMe late last year, I was so eager to get the reports I felt like a kid waiting to open presents on Christmas morning. When I finally opened my reports, I was actually a little letdown. The results confirmed that my ancestry on both sides of the family was mostly British. I opted in and looked over my health reports, too, which were interesting, but the unexpected information didn’t come until later. 
<h6>A Shocking Discovery</h6>
Just a few weeks after those initial results, I got an email alerting me to a message. I had opted in to participate in DNA Relatives and someone with whom I shared DNA had sent me a message. I logged in to read it.
“Hey Jodee, My name’s James Dodds and 23andMe says that we may be half-siblings,” the message began. “My dad, Jim Dodds, was from Ponoka, Canada, so I am wondering if that’s the connection. He was born in 1946.”
I’d never heard the name “Dodds” before, but Ponoka is near where I live now, in Alberta, and  near where my mother was born and grew up. I was in complete shock. I responded within ten minutes. When I shared it with my husband that evening and with my two adult sons, now 29 and 31, they didn’t quite comprehend what it meant. I knew instantly. DNA doesn’t lie. I didn’t know how this happened, but I was confident that this man who messaged me, James Dodds, was my half-brother.
<h6>Coming to Terms</h6>
After the initial shock wore off, the emotions flooded in. I was inundated with random memories, like my dad saving me from drowning when, as a five-year-old, I had walked off the edge of a pier during summer vacation. And I remembered his family, my grandma’s loving face, and the big Christmas get-togethers with everyone at my house. My earliest memory is of looking inside eggs using a red light with his dad, my grandfather, when I was three or four. I remembered being the oldest grandchild among all my cousins. And I remembered my dad’s siblings—Uncle Les, Auntie Myrna, and Auntie Mary—all of whom have stood by me and supported me through my life’s journey, never judging or condemning me or taking sides when it came to my complicated relationship with my father. They have loved me unconditionally while loving their brother, too. I LOVE my family. They are my family.
My heart shattered thinking that might not be true anymore. I also wondered, how did this happen?
<h6>The Backstory</h6>
I knew my mother was pregnant when she married my father, and their marriage wasn’t blissful, but I wanted to know more. Though it had been a long time since we’d spoken, I sent her an email asking about her connection and relationship with Jim Dodds. 
I knew my email would come as a shock to her. So I waited for her response.The next morning she replied: 
“I dated someone with that name when I was 18.” 
This confirmed my initial instinct: Jim Dodds was my biological father.
I don’t think anyone would ever blame me if I was angry at my mother, but that’s not what I felt. Instead, I reached out to her to talk and we decided to meet face to face for the first time in almost a decade.    
My mother explained she had fallen in love with a bull rider, Jim Dodds. But she was so young and had already experienced trauma in her life. And she had a past relationship with my father. They had a daughter together four years before I was born, in 1964, and my mom had to give her up for adoption. When she got pregnant at 19, she broke things off with Jim and told him she was getting married without ever mentioning her pregnancy. She believed my dad was my biological father.
<h6>The Meaning of Family</h6>
I was devastated when I learned that my dad wasn’t my birth father. But I realized that family is so much more than being related by blood or sharing DNA. It is about being there for each other through the good times, and especially the bad. It is the relationships in our lives that provide a sense of security and belonging. It is the people that hold your heart gently in their hands. It is about feeling that you are in a safe space, no matter what you share. Family is about feeling valued, respected, and understood. It is being able to say you are sorry when someone says you hurt them.
I am incredibly blessed to have so many relationships like this in my life. And I’m not alone in that feeling. We live in a world where the definition of family has expanded. Children continue to be adopted, people get divorced and then remarried with blended families, foster parents care for children, and individuals pursue parenthood and family through routes like surrogacy and IVF. There are so many scenarios, and all of those people are no less loved, no less connected, and no less family than those that share DNA. The one crucial ingredient is love. I always knew this; it just took a few days to catch my breath and realize it.
Today, I am still processing this news. 
As much as my dad and I had our own challenges throughout the course of our lives, I loved him very much. I never wished for a different father. 
I also regret that my biological father Jim passed away in 2021 before we could meet. He will never know that I was born. He will never know his amazing grandsons.
Yet I’ve realized that if this hadn’t been kept a secret, my life wouldn’t have been enriched by the people I love most. So, as hard as it has been to work through all of my emotions about this revelation, I feel my life is as it should be.
I would never want to alter the course of fate. I love my family and was always meant to be Brett’s sister.

Jodee, as a young girl, and her baby brother Brett

23andMe Blog

23andMe Blog Team

A 23andMe Customer Reflects on the Meaning of Family  

We rightfully honor Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, but for those of us to be lucky enough to have them, Sibling’s Day can be just as powerful. 
This year, Siblings Day is particularly memorable for Victor Farr, a 20-year-old student from Florida who recently met his biological sister Eva for the first time. 
For 18-year-old Eva, who’s also from Florida, it’s even more than that. She’d been searching for connections to her birth family for years. In a message she sent to Victor before they met in person, she wrote:
“My heart and soul have been lost without you for the past eighteen years. I kept wondering, will I ever get a sibling? ‘Will God answer my prayers and put a sibling at my feet?’”
When they met for the first time in a small café, they enveloped each other in a prolonged embrace. There were no words.
“To be connected with a biological sibling is more than a feeling,” Victor said. “It brings the sense of connection and understanding of who I really am.”
Eva was both overwhelmed and overjoyed. An only child adopted by a single mom, she’d been searching for her birth family for years.
For Victor, the moment was equally emotionally loaded but a little different. He knows he’s lucky to have had older sisters who took care of him after he was adopted from Guatemala as a baby. Victor shares with them the bond that comes with growing up in the same household. A shared history and the unspoken understanding that comes with knowing someone from the time before you could talk.
But as an adoptee, Victor also had a hidden history. He never knew much about his origins, his birth parents’ story, or the context that comes with knowing all that. Victor wasn’t haunted by all that. Long ago, he’d come to terms with probably never knowing. 
But on Christmas in 2020 his adoptive father gave him 23andMe as a gift. Victor didn’t expect to find family; he thought using 23andMe might help him learn more about his heritage and mix of indigenous, Iberian, and European ancestry that often is part of being Guatemalan. Although he was curious, it still took him months to actually send in his kit for testing. And he was slow to actually open up his results. That didn’t happen until mid-2021. He was stunned by what he found.
“I was blown away,” he said.
Before that moment, Victor only knew that he came from Guatemala, and from his adoption records, he had his mother’s name. But after opening his 23andMe results, he decided to opt in to participate in DNA Relatives and found that at the top of his list was a full biological sister named Eva. He struggled a bit with what to say to her at first.
“What do you say in a message like that?” he said.
But eventually sent her a simple message and asked to connect, and a few days later she responded.
“It’s miraculous, such a blessing,” said Victor, who is studying for the ministry.
The two exchanged messages and learned that they’d grown up not very far apart. She’s at a small college that Victor had considered attending. He marveled at the idea that they could have been on the same campus or crossed paths and never have known they were siblings.
For both of them, making the connection helped to fill in gaps in their background and grounded them. Eva had a bit more information on their birth mother, and even a photo.
Seeing his mother’s face sent a wave of emotion over him.
 &#8220;It was overwhelming,” Victor said. “I had hoped and dreamed that maybe I might be able to see her one day. Seeing that photo was so emotional.&#8221;
But it was meeting Eva in person, seeing himself in her features, talking to someone who shared history – that up until then had been hidden to both of them – that was life-changing, he said.
&#8220;She&#8217;s like a female version of my younger self,&#8221; he said.
Beyond the shared DNA and the resemblance, Victor said he felt something more. Two years older, Victor suddenly felt something new — the responsibility of being an older brother. On his way to their first in-person meeting, he’d told himself to project confidence because he thought that maybe Eva would feel “shy and overwhelmed.”
“Radiate your light and calmness so she may find herself comfortable,” he told himself.
Since that first meeting, his identity as an older brother has only grown stronger. 
“To be connected with Eva gives me a sense of identity,” Victor said. “I am an older brother who loves and serves his little sister.”

Celebrating National Sibling Day with Victor and Eva

Editor&#8217;s Note: For Twosday (Tuesday 2/22/22) We&#8217;re sharing a story we did a few years back about identical twins. Twins are endlessly fascinating for us as humans, and their stories are embedded in our folklore and mythology. But twins and the study of twins is also a cornerstone for genetic research helping us better understand the heritability of different traits, conditions and diseases. When we look at identical twins, we often are drawn more to the their <a href="https://www.apa.org/monitor/2015/01/double-life.aspx" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">similarities than their differences</a>, and we&#8217;ve written about<a href="https://blog.23andme.com/23andme-customer-stories/23andme-reunites-identical-twins-separated-birth/"> identical twins separated at birth</a> and how meeting as adults reveals how uncannily much they have in common. But the differences can often be just as illuminating. Check out these stories.
<h2>Greg and Alex</h2>
The twins Greg and Alex Abbas were always really good in math and science. They sounded exactly alike on the phone. They could each play the piano, and they both became Eagle Scouts.
“We’ve always been more alike than different,” said Greg, a software engineering manager at Apple Inc.
<div id="attachment_22592" style="width: 890px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-22592" class="size-larger wp-image-22592" src="http://35.88.189.111/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Alex-and-Greg-880x660.jpg" alt="A photo of Alex and Greg." width="880" height="660" srcset="https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Alex-and-Greg-880x660.jpg 880w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Alex-and-Greg-300x225.jpg 300w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Alex-and-Greg-768x576.jpg 768w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Alex-and-Greg.jpg 1024w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 880px) 100vw, 880px" />Alex and Greg</div>
In high school, they looked enough alike that they could switch places and fool the teachers. But despite all those similarities, the brothers were always told they were fraternal, not identical twins. 
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</code>“That was mom’s assertion,” said Greg. “The doctor told her that there were two placentas.”<code style="display: none;"> 
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</code>That old assumption, and others, led many twins and their parents to wrong conclusions about whether they were identical or fraternal twins. As many as one-third of identical twins and all same-sex non-identical twins have separate placentas. Even when there are two placentas, that might not be obvious to the delivering doctor. 
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</code>It’s no wonder correctly identifying twins as identical or fraternal is harder than you’d imagine. One recent study found that 32 percent of parents of identical twins were confused or plain wrong about whether their children were identical or not. About 29 percent of parents of fraternal twins had it wrong. 
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</code>In hindsight, it explains a lot to Greg and Alex. The two had always wondered if maybe the doctors had it wrong. Not long ago, Alex, a bioinformatician at Genentech with a Ph.D in biology, decided they should look at how similar they were genetically by testing with 23andMe. 
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</code>“I thought there was a possibility that we might be semi-identical,” said Alex, referring to scarce sets of twins.
In those cases, the twins are half fraternal and half identical, having the same genes from one parent but different genes from the other. While there are plenty of critical medical reasons for knowing whether twins are identical, there are also less concrete reasons that are no less important. 
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</code>“I wouldn’t say it’s a huge deal, but it is special to learn about yourself in this way,” said Alex. 
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</code>What the brothers found out from testing is that they are indeed identical twins, not fraternal.
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</code>“The results were 100 percent shared DNA,” said Greg. “I said, ‘Wow, that’s not fraternal.’” While the brothers said they can’t claim that their lives were changed by the news or did anything differently because of what they learned, both said the information was extremely valuable. 
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</code>“Being a twin is an intrinsic part of the way I look at my own identity, so getting it right and understanding myself is important,” Greg said.
The Abbas brothers are not the only twins who learned through using 23andMe that they are identical twins.
<h2>Mike and Matt</h2>
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</code>When Mike Convente, a Ph.D. student in Philadelphia, learned through 23andMe that he and his brother <a href="http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/03/30/961626/-Our-Genome-Decoded-How-Companies-Like-23andMe-Are-Advancing-the-Field-of-Personal-Genomics" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">were identical twins</a>, it made their bond somehow more special.
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<div id="attachment_23529" style="width: 229px" class="wp-caption alignright"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-23529" class="wp-image-23529 size-medium" src="http://35.88.189.111/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/Mike_Matt_2-219x300.jpg" alt="A photo of Mike and Make as kids." width="219" height="300" srcset="https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/Mike_Matt_2-219x300.jpg 219w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/Mike_Matt_2.jpg 525w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 219px) 100vw, 219px" />Mike Convente (left) and his brother Matt.</div>
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</code>“The true essence of being a twin is to be identical,” Mike said. “Otherwise, you&#8217;re just siblings born at the same time.”
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</code>Tim and Nick</h2>
Tim Dang, a product manager here at 23andMe, and his brother Nick also grew up being told that they were fraternal twins but learned that they were identical twins after testing with 23andMe. Like the Convente twins and Alex and Greg, learning about being identical was an important detail for Tim and his brother.
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</code>“Knowing we&#8217;re identical made us think hard about our similarities and differences, identity and the life choices we made up to this point,&#8221; he said.
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<h2 class="title style-scope ytd-video-primary-info-renderer">Erika and Kristin</h2>
Sometimes twins only learn that they are identical twins later in life, as in the case of Erika and Kristin.
<iframe loading="lazy" title="23andMe Story: Two of a Kind, Erika and Kristin" width="500" height="281" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/IVug8r-hl5o?feature=oembed" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" referrerpolicy="strict-origin-when-cross-origin" allowfullscreen></iframe>

More Alike Than Different

Jamila studied the map, smiling, giggling a bit with wonder each time she uncovered something new.&nbsp;
“Oh wow, just wow, I didn’t know any of that,” she said.&nbsp;
The map traced out a geographic region in Africa where certain ethnolinguistic groups, or people who share a common language and culture, live today. The lines carved out a part within what is now Angola and the Democratic Republic of Congo, delineating where people who are Kongo &amp; Mbundu live. Within the region, there are other groups like the Kete, Imbala, and the Tetala.&nbsp;
“I’ve never heard of any of these groups,” Jamila said. “I have so much to learn now that I know this is part of me.”&nbsp;

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<h6>Ancestry Composition Update</h6>
Steven Micheletti, a 23andMe population geneticist, walked Jamila through this update of her 23andMe’s Ancestry Composition report. Steven explained that of the more than 12 million people stolen from Africa and taken to the Americas in the slave trade, almost half of them came from this region of West Central Africa. The update includes a total of <a href="https://blog.23andme.com/ancestry-reports/african-ethnolinguistic-groups/">25 new ethnolinguistic</a> groups in Africa. Jamila saw where in Africa she matched with others from this ethnolinguistic group with whom she shared a common ancestor up to a few hundred years ago.&nbsp;
But Jamila, a Seattle realtor, small business owner, and mother of eight, was seeing much more than just a map. Instead, Jamila saw a direct connection to a piece of her and her family’s history.
“This is going to mean a lot for people like me who want to know more,” she said.&nbsp;
<h6>A Richer History</h6>
February is Black History Month in the United States. But history for Black people here didn’t begin with slavery, Jamila said.&nbsp;
“Our history didn’t begin 400 years ago,” she said, referring to when the first Africans were enslaved and brought to the Americas.&nbsp;
For many Black Americans, the history of slavery erected a brick wall in their efforts to reach back and learn more about their ancestry. For many people like Jamila, simply saying that you have African ancestry isn’t enough. Africa itself is rich with cultures, ethnic groups, and languages; she wanted to know to what culture and group she connected.&nbsp;
“So I just kept asking questions,” Jamila said.
About three years ago, after using 23andMe, Jamila learned that she was primarily West African. Of her West African ancestry, about 35 percent was from Nigeria. But even Nigeria is a massive multi-ethnic place filled with different groups and cultures.&nbsp;
<h6>On a Quest to Learn More</h6>
Jamila wanted to know more.
“Where in Nigeria?” she asked.
Soon after testing, she connected with a distant Nigerian cousin. She learned that she was from a village in the Nigerian state of Anambra and was Ibo. Then, in Seattle, where she lives, Jamila began to participate in the Igbo Union group, made up of Ibo people now living in the United States. During one of the group’s meetings, Jamila met a woman from the same village as her cousin. Jamila and her new friend eventually traveled together to Anambra in August of 2019 and visited the village. She felt an immediate affinity with the people there.
&nbsp;“It was emotional and really fun,” she said. “It was life-changing.”
But she also knew there was more. Fast-forward to this year and Jamila learned through this latest 23andMe update that she is connected to ethnolinguistic groups in what is now Angola and the Democratic Republic of Congo.
“I can never be 100 percent Ibo, or (one of these other groups),” she said. “I didn’t grow up in their culture, but it’s in my blood. It’s in me.”
She plans to learn more about these cultures and incorporate some of what she learns into her life and her children&#8217;s lives.
“It’s important that they know who they are and where they came from and that the story, our story, didn’t start 400 years ago… there’s more to it than that.”

 <figure class="wp-block-image size-large is-style-default"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="512" height="338" src="https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/AEG-2.png" alt="" class="wp-image-29437" srcset="https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/AEG-2.png 512w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/AEG-2-300x198.png 300w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 512px) 100vw, 512px" /></figure>

Tracing Roots in Africa

For Jessica Diaz, a stroke at 36 didn&#8217;t just alter the course of her life; it&#8217;s driven her to help other women who might unknowingly be at risk for the same thing.
You&#8217;ve probably heard the maxim that &#8220;knowledge is power,&#8221; but what is the opposite of that?
It disturbed Jessica that so many people didn&#8217;t even know they might carry the risk that led to her brush with death. It bothered her that people didn&#8217;t realize that either a direct-to-consumer genetic test or blood test could easily detect it. Those tests offer people a chance to take steps to lower their risk. So, Jessica went on a mission to bring that knowledge to others.
&nbsp;

 <figure class="wp-block-image size-large is-style-default"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="683" height="1024" src="https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/JessicaDiazAHA-683x1024.jpeg" alt="" class="wp-image-29425" srcset="https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/JessicaDiazAHA-683x1024.jpeg 683w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/JessicaDiazAHA-200x300.jpeg 200w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/JessicaDiazAHA-768x1152.jpeg 768w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/JessicaDiazAHA-587x880.jpeg 587w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/JessicaDiazAHA-787x1180.jpeg 787w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/JessicaDiazAHA-scaled.jpeg 1707w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 683px) 100vw, 683px" /></figure>
 
<h6></h6>
<h6>Factor V Leiden</h6>
It started with her health scare nine years ago. A massive headache, and partial paralysis along her left side, led her husband to take her to the emergency room. Lying on a hospital bed after several tests, she listened in disbelief as doctors told her the diagnosis.
She&#8217;d had a stroke.
That didn&#8217;t compute for the then 36-year-old mother of two young children. Jessica didn&#8217;t even know that people her age could have a stroke. Not only that, but she was the model of health, a Barre class instructor, and a yoga enthusiast, so it was hard to accept what she was hearing. 
Testing at the hospital revealed she had a genetic variant called Factor V Leiden, which put her at a higher risk for blood clots.
&#8220;I&#8217;d never even heard of it before,&#8221; she said.
<h6>Harmful Blood Clots</h6>
She&#8217;s not alone. Most people have never heard of it, but the condition is not uncommon. More than five percent of the population in the United States have Factor V Leiden and the variant is most common in people of Northern European ancestry. Having it increases the risk of forming harmful blood clots which can develop in the legs and are known as deep vein thromboses (DVTs). The clots can also travel to the lungs and become pulmonary embolisms. Other factors might also increase risk: breaking a hip or leg; being immobilized for a very long time while lying in a hospital bed or traveling on a very long flight; pregnancy; and taking birth control pills.
Again, Jessica knew none of this.
&#8220;How is it possible that women don&#8217;t know this?&#8221; she thought.
In her case, the doctors believed that her having Factor V Leiden in combination with a previously undiagnosed congenital heart defect — a small hole in her heart known as a patent foramen ovale — ultimately led to the stroke. The clot had formed in her heart and then traveled to her brain.
<h6>Recovery</h6>
Jessica was lucky to have only spent a week in the hospital. Her recovery was relatively fast. She didn&#8217;t end up with long-term brain damage or paralysis, as can happen with other stroke survivors. About six months after the stroke, she underwent 10-hour open-heart surgery to repair the hole in her heart. Now nine years on, she&#8217;s healthy and fit. She also knows how lucky she is. Lucky that she got to the hospital within the critical early hours of a stroke. Lucky that she was near a good hospital, where they&#8217;re renowned for their treatment of strokes. And lucky that her insurance covered the costs. 
The experience changed how she approached her health. She eats a little differently now, stays hydrated, and knows to avoid estrogen-containing oral contraception and hormone therapies.
<h6>Educating Herself and Others</h6>
But after the stroke, she also began to educate herself. The experience didn&#8217;t just change the trajectory of her life,  it motivated her to help change the fate of others. Genetics played a role in her risk, so she alerted her sister, who was pregnant at the time. Her sister tested, and she too had Factor V Leiden. Her sister was put on a blood thinner through the pregnancy to lower her risk for a clot or miscarriage.
And Jessica began to do even more. She couldn&#8217;t get the idea out of her head about how few women knew of this risk. She became an ambassador for the American Heart and Stroke Association. Then she began what turned into a multi-year effort to get legislation passed in Massachusetts to have better screening for women going on birth control. 
“I wanted to ensure that women have all the available information before choosing oral contraceptives,” she said.
She&#8217;s<a href="https://www.purewow.com/wellness/i-had-a-stroke-at-36"> written about her experience</a> and talks about it to other women.

 <figure class="wp-block-image size-large is-style-default"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="563" height="617" src="https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/Tarin-Jessica.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-29428" srcset="https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/Tarin-Jessica.jpg 563w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/Tarin-Jessica-274x300.jpg 274w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 563px) 100vw, 563px" /></figure>
 
<h6></h6>
<h6>Meeting Tarin</h6>
This past April, at the beach on vacation with her family in the Caribbean, she began talking to a woman named Tarin Jackson. They learned they live just two miles from each other in Boston but had never met before. Tarin asked Jessica what she does.
&#8220;I shared that I was an ambassador for the American Heart Association and that I was working on a bill for the last six years to ask health care providers for better screening for Factor V Leiden,&#8221; Jessica said.
Tarin immediately asked, &#8220;What&#8217;s Factor V Leiden?&#8221;   
As Jessica began to explain it, Tarin blurted out.
“Wait,” she said, adding that she might have the variant. 
<h6>OMG</h6>
She grabbed her phone and then opened up her 23andMe Hereditary Thrombophilia Genetic Health Risk report. It reports on the Factor V Leiden variant and another variant in the F2 gene associated with a higher likelihood of developing harmful blood clots.*
&#8220;I opened the report and said, ‘&#8230; Oh My God,'&#8221; Tarin said recently.
She indeed had the variant. It was important information because Tarin had recently restarted taking oral contraception. After talking with Jessica, Tarin talked first to her primary care doctor and then gynecologists. 
Tarin did follow-up testing confirming she had Factor V Leiden. Her doctor recommended she stop taking her birth control pill. And then Tarin reached out to family, trying to find out if they had any history of blood clotting. It turns out her father had four blood clots following a surgical procedure after a bike accident. 
Seeing how this information could empower someone like Tarin to lower her risk and take charge of her health was thrilling for Jessica. She continues her work talking to other women like her, raising awareness, and advocating screening women before being prescribed oral contraception.
&#8220;I cannot express my gratitude and excitement to learn that people have access to finding out whether they have (the variant for) Factor V Leiden,&#8221; Jessica said. &#8220;It could be lifesaving.&#8221;
<hr />
*The 23andMe PGS test uses qualitative genotyping to detect select clinically relevant variants in the genomic DNA of adults from saliva for the purpose of reporting and interpreting genetic health risks. It is not intended to diagnose any disease. Your ethnicity may affect the relevance of each report and how your genetic health risk results are interpreted. Each genetic health risk report describes if a person has variants associated with a higher risk of developing a disease, but does not describe a person’s overall risk of developing the disease. The test is  not intended to tell you anything about your current state of health, or to be used to make medical decisions, including whether or not you should take a medication, how much of a medication you should take, or determine any treatment.  The Hereditary Thrombophilia genetic health risk report is indicated for reporting of the Factor V Leiden variant in the F5 gene, and the Prothrombin G20210A variant in the F2 gene and describes if a person has variants associated with a higher risk of developing harmful blood clots. The variants included in this report are most common and best studied in people of European descent. These variants are also found in populations with European ancestry, like African Americans and Hispanics or Latinos.

A Stroke Survivor Wants to Raise Awareness for Other Women

Stephanie McKenna, 34, settled into her seat as her plane began its descent into Phoenix, Arizona. 
Thirty-six thousand feet below, Tom Chaney, a Marine Veteran and Stephanie’s newfound biological father, made his way to the arrivals terminal of the Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport to greet her <a href="https://blog.23andme.com/23andme-customer-stories/a-father-and-daughter-meet-for-the-first-time/">for the first time</a>.
Father and daughter shared an instant bond. “We have so many similarities. It’s not even funny. It is ridiculous,” Tom said.
Their emotional meeting was months in the making. And it started with a Christmas gift. 
After expressing interest in learning more about her identity, Stephanie’s adoptive parents gave her a 23andMe kit for Christmas. That led Stephanie to her biological grandfather and, ultimately, to Tom. 
For many customers, the gift of 23andMe has been the gift of a lifetime. Some, like Stephanie, have discovered family members. Some have experienced a new sense of connection and belonging. Still others have learned valuable health information that has allowed them to make informed choices. Here are a few of their stories. 
&nbsp;

 <figure class="wp-block-image size-large is-style-default"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="640" src="https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/Stephanie_Tom_1_lbcrop-1024x640.png" alt="" class="wp-image-29394" srcset="https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/Stephanie_Tom_1_lbcrop-1024x640.png 1024w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/Stephanie_Tom_1_lbcrop-300x188.png 300w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/Stephanie_Tom_1_lbcrop-768x480.png 768w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/Stephanie_Tom_1_lbcrop-880x550.png 880w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/Stephanie_Tom_1_lbcrop-1180x738.png 1180w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/Stephanie_Tom_1_lbcrop.png 1440w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /></figure>
 
<h6>The Gift of Family </h6>
In September 1988, just four months after Melanie Pressley made the wrenching decision to put her infant son up for adoption, she received a letter from his adoptive parents that put her mind — and heart — at ease. 
“Dear Birth Mom of ‘Our’ Baby,” it began. “Please, if you ever wonder about him, know he is loved and we will strive as hard as possible to be good parents.”
“It made me feel like I had done the right thing,” Melanie said. 
As the years passed, Melanie got married, had three children, and put down roots in Ohio. But she never stopped wondering about the child she gave up, and she harbored hope that they would one day reconnect. 
A combined Mother’s Day and birthday gift of 23andMe helped to realize that dream. Melanie’s report showed a DNA match with someone who might be her son — 32-year-old Greg Vossler. She immediately reached out. The two began communicating regularly via email and text and they <a href="https://www.winchesterstar.com/winchester_star/mother-and-adopted-son-reunited-a-surreal-and-crazy-moment/article_edb8d3cb-b3fd-50c5-b2b8-417ea952c773.html">finally met in person</a> at Melanie’s home this year. 
&#8220;Melanie’s family coming into my life at this point has been a blessing,” Greg told Fox News. 
“It&#8217;s kind of re-ignited some passions and excitement.&#8221;
&nbsp;

 <figure class="wp-block-image size-large is-style-default"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="640" src="https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/Melanie-and-Greg-first-hug-lb-crop-use-1024x640.png" alt="" class="wp-image-29392" srcset="https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/Melanie-and-Greg-first-hug-lb-crop-use-1024x640.png 1024w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/Melanie-and-Greg-first-hug-lb-crop-use-300x188.png 300w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/Melanie-and-Greg-first-hug-lb-crop-use-768x480.png 768w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/Melanie-and-Greg-first-hug-lb-crop-use-880x550.png 880w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/Melanie-and-Greg-first-hug-lb-crop-use-1180x738.png 1180w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/Melanie-and-Greg-first-hug-lb-crop-use.png 1440w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /></figure>
 
<h6>The Gift of Connection</h6>
In many ways, Katie Ares, Leigh Ann Baglin, and Scott McCreary are typical siblings. They’re comfortable with each other and share an easy camaraderie. They talk frequently — trading details, stories, and updates about their lives.
But unlike most brothers and sisters, up until a few years ago, the siblings didn’t know each other existed. 
Now in their 30s, the three were all born in South Korea and adopted separately by families in the United States. It was by chance that they each used 23andMe. 
Katie received a 23andMe kit as a gift from her employer. 
“I didn’t have any expectations from it,” Katie said. “I just thought, ‘OK, this is neat. It’s interesting. I wonder if anything’s going to come of it.’: 
Something did come of it. Opting-in and using 23andMe’s DNA Relatives tool, Katie connected with her sister Leigh Ann and brother Scott for the first time.
Scott described the experience: “It’s just absolutely insane meeting these people that you’ve never known your whole life, but when you meet them, you fall right into place, just like you have been together your entire life.”
What’s next for the trio? Catching up on lost time. They spent a weekend in Phoenix and hope to plan more trips soon. Finally being together was “amazing and so fun,” Leigh Ann said. “It was a short but very sweet trip.” 
&nbsp;

 <figure class="wp-block-image size-large is-style-default"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="640" src="https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/siblings_lbcrop-1024x640.png" alt="" class="wp-image-29393" srcset="https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/siblings_lbcrop-1024x640.png 1024w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/siblings_lbcrop-300x188.png 300w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/siblings_lbcrop-768x480.png 768w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/siblings_lbcrop-880x550.png 880w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/siblings_lbcrop-1180x738.png 1180w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/siblings_lbcrop.png 1440w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /></figure>
 
<h6></h6>
<h6>The Gift of Knowledge</h6>
On Christmas morning in 2018, Margaret Fox tore the wrapping paper off a present to discover a 23andMe Health + Ancestry kit. Her family had all chipped in to buy the kits for each other. 
“We thought it would be a fun thing to take,” explained Mollie Gelburd, Margaret’s sister. “We were never expecting it would end up leading to any sort of clinical change.”
Two months later, Margaret received an email from 23andMe letting her know her reports were ready. After opting in to receive her health information and going through educational modules about the reports, she opened her BRCA1/BRCA2 (Selected Variants) Genetic Health Risk Report.* It indicated she had one of the three variants for which 23andMe tests. Margaret, who was only 28 at the time, was stunned. She was aware of her family’s Ashkenazi Jewish heritage, and she had a great aunt who had battled breast and ovarian cancer, but she “never believed it was something to be overly concerned about.”
Females with one of the three variants 23andMe tests for — no matter their ancestry — have an increased risk of developing certain cancers including breast and ovarian. Armed with this knowledge, Margaret sprang into action. She set up an appointment with her general practitioner who referred her to a genetic counselor for follow-up testing. When her tests confirmed what she learned in 23andMe’s report, Margaret began receiving regular breast radiology checkups. This preventative monitoring continued for nearly 18 months until one day she felt a small, painful lump in her breast. She was eventually diagnosed with Stage 2 breast cancer. 
Margaret was immediately connected to an oncologist and a surgeon and began IVF treatments to preserve her fertility. 
Today she is partway through a 16-week course of chemotherapy and the prognosis, her sister said, looks good. 
Margaret acknowledged that her journey is not the “traditional 23andMe success story.” “But in a way, it is,” she said. “This is about survival. We caught this early.” 
Mollie agreed: “I often think about how grateful I am for 23andMe’s health test results, which notified us of her status and enabled her to engage in screenings she likely would not have pursued. As a result of this test, her doctors were able to catch her cancer before it spread beyond the breast. I can’t help but think that the health results from 23andMe may have saved my sister’s life.”
&nbsp;

 <figure class="wp-block-image size-large is-style-default"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="1024" height="640" src="https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/Margaret-and-family-lb-crop-1024x640.png" alt="" class="wp-image-29390" srcset="https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/Margaret-and-family-lb-crop-1024x640.png 1024w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/Margaret-and-family-lb-crop-300x188.png 300w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/Margaret-and-family-lb-crop-768x480.png 768w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/Margaret-and-family-lb-crop-880x550.png 880w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/Margaret-and-family-lb-crop-1180x738.png 1180w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/Margaret-and-family-lb-crop.png 1440w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /></figure>
 
&nbsp;
This holiday season, give the most meaningful gift you can — <a href="https://www.23andme.com/compare-dna-tests/?bst=pff">23andMe</a>. 
<hr />
*23andMe health predisposition reports include both reports that meet FDA requirements for genetic health risks and reports which are based on 23andMe research and have not been reviewed by the FDA. The test uses qualitative genotyping to detect select clinically relevant variants in the genomic DNA of adults from saliva for the purpose of reporting and interpreting genetic health risks. It is not intended to diagnose any disease. Your ethnicity may affect the relevance of each report and how your genetic health risk results are interpreted. Each genetic health risk report describes if a person has variants associated with a higher risk of developing a disease, but does not describe a person’s overall risk of developing the disease. The test is not intended to tell you anything about your current state of health, or to be used to make medical decisions, including whether or not you should take a medication, how much of a medication you should take, or determine any treatment. For certain conditions, we provide a single report that includes information on both carrier status and genetic health risk. Warnings &amp; Limitations: The 23andMe PGS Genetic Health Risk Report for BRCA1/BRCA2 (Selected Variants) is indicated for reporting of the 185delAG and 5382insC variants in the BRCA1 gene and the 6174delT variant in the BRCA2 gene. The report describes if a woman is at increased risk of developing breast and ovarian cancer, and if a man is at increased risk of developing breast cancer or may be at increased risk of developing prostate cancer. The three variants included in this report are most common in people of Ashkenazi Jewish descent and do not represent the majority of BRCA1/BRCA2 variants in the general population. This report does not include variants in other genes linked to hereditary cancers and the absence of variants included in this report does not rule out the presence of other genetic variants that may impact cancer risk. The PGS test is not a substitute for visits to a healthcare professional for recommended screenings or appropriate follow-up. Results should be confirmed in a clinical setting before taking any medical action. For important information and limitations regarding each genetic health risk report, visit<a href="https://www.23andme.com/test-info/"> 23andme.com/test-info/</a>.

The Gift of a Lifetime

On the cusp of turning 70 Linda learned that she wasn’t an only child after all, not only that but her newfound sister, Cheryl, was a former co-worker and good friend.
Linda and Cheryl’s story aired recently on the Today Show. If you didn’t get to see Anne Thompson’s report on the sisters take a moment and check it out here:
<iframe width="560" height="315" loading="lazy" src="https://www.today.com/today/embedded-video/mmvo128391749881" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe>
For Cheryl learning that her father, the man who raised her, wasn’t her biological father was a shock. But reconnecting with her old friend Linda and learning that they were in fact sister, has been a joy.
“It’s been a blessing really,” she said.
Not only have the two reconnected but they learned that for a couple of months each year they live just a mile apart making it that much easier to get reacquainted and build memories as sisters and friends.

Long Lost Friends Learn They’re Also Sisters

On Veterans’ Day this year, Jessica Dudley will think a lot about someone she’s never met. An Army Veteran she’d searched for her whole life.



“I’m very proud of him. I think he’s my hero,” she said. “Even though I never had the chance to know him. I feel very close to him. I feel his presence.”



<figure class="wp-block-image alignright"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="225" height="300" src="http://35.88.189.111/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/image0-3-scaled-e1668737947434-225x300.jpeg" alt="" class="wp-image-29279" srcset="https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/image0-3-scaled-e1668737947434-225x300.jpeg 225w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/image0-3-scaled-e1668737947434-768x1024.jpeg 768w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/image0-3-scaled-e1668737947434-660x880.jpeg 660w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/image0-3-scaled-e1668737947434-885x1180.jpeg 885w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 225px) 100vw, 225px" /><figcaption class="wp-element-caption">Sgt. Lee Eugene Dudley</figcaption></figure>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-a-man-she-never-knew">A Man She Never Knew</h2>



For almost 50 years, she searched for her father, a man she’d never known. She didn’t even have his name. Born in Cam Ranh Bay in 1972, Jessica had a Cambodian mother and a father who was a US soldier. Her mother only told her about him that he was white, had a brace on one of his knees, and his name was “Lee.” Her mom told Jessica that he’d wanted to take them to the United States, but Jessica’s mom didn’t want to go.



It wasn’t easy growing up in Vietnam as an Amerasian kid. Her mother sent her off to live with a distant relative in Trà Vinh, a city far to the south. On top of that, she went blind when she was very young, adding to all the things that set her apart from everyone else around her.



“I woke up one morning and could not see,” Jessica said. “It was after the war and being an Amerasian kid&#8230;no one really cared.”



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-coming-to-america">Coming to America</h2>



She made do. However, when Jessica turned 17, she immigrated to the United States alone and did not speak English. 



She ended up in New York City, where she was taken in for a short time by a foster care family while attending a school for the blind. What followed was a short-lived marriage and three kids. She worked, raised her children, and made a living as a massage therapist. But she never stopped searching for her father.



Then, a few years ago, her boyfriend gave her a gift, a 23andMe kit.



It took a while for Jessica to see how priceless his present had been.



“When my result came back, a woman named Lisa was predicted to be my first cousin,” Jessica said.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-exploring-her-23andme-matches">Exploring her 23andMe Matches</h2>



Jessica sent her a message, and Lisa quickly sent her a message back.



“When I got Lisa’s message, it felt like someone had just given me a million dollars.”



<figure class="wp-block-image aligncenter"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="640" height="480" src="http://35.88.189.111/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/Corrine-Lisas-twin-Jessica-Lisa-1-rotated-e1679007720908.jpeg" alt="" class="wp-image-29277" srcset="https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/Corrine-Lisas-twin-Jessica-Lisa-1-rotated-e1679007720908.jpeg 640w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/Corrine-Lisas-twin-Jessica-Lisa-1-rotated-e1679007720908-300x225.jpeg 300w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px" /><figcaption class="wp-element-caption">Lisa, center, with her twin cousins Corine on the left and Lisa on the right.</figcaption></figure>



She messaged Lisa sharing her story with her, asking if she was related to a man named “Lee.” Lisa thought she meant the last name of “Lee” and she didn’t know anyone in her family with that last name. She wished Jessica the best and their messages stopped there.



However, about a year later, Lisa reread Jessica’s message. It was clear they were closely related, and so she talked to her mom, telling her she didn’t know how to help since there was no one in the family with the name “Lee.” Her mom said they didn’t have anyone with that as a last name, but one of her uncles’ first names was Lee.



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-uncle-gene">Uncle Gene</h2>



Lisa had known her favorite uncle as Uncle Gene. She didn’t know his first name was “Lee Eugene.” Quickly she was back in communication with Jessica and shared photos of her uncle, the man who was Jessica’s biological father, Sgt. Major Lee Eugene Dudley died in 2005. Jessica has a computer program that can describe a photo, and she’d listen to the description of each photo her cousin Lisa shared of her dad that detailed the uniform, the close-cropped light brown hair, blue eyes, the square jaw, and the medals. He’d been so proud of that uniform that after he’d retired, he’d asked his niece if she’d mind him wearing his uniform to her wedding.



In turn, Jessica shared photos of herself with her newfound biological family, and immediately, they saw the resemblance between the cousins. Jessica looked so much like her father’s mother, and she shared the same slim, long-limbed build as her cousins. Lisa and her twin sister Corine are also Amerasian but half-Japanese. Jessica looks like their sister.



<figure class="wp-block-image alignright"><img decoding="async" src="http://35.88.189.111/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/Jessica-at-Sand-Hill-Cemetery-1-300x225.jpeg" alt="" class="wp-image-29276"/></figure>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-getting-to-know-more-about-her-father">Getting to Know More About Her Father</h2>



More importantly, Jessica learned about her father. He had no other children. He’d served four combat tours of duty in Vietnam, as well as in the Dominican Republic and Grenada. He’d risen to the highest enlisted ranks as a sergeant major in the infantry and served in the 82nd Airborne. He’d been awarded a silver and bronze star with ‘V’ and oak leaf, a recognition for the medals received in combat for valor and heroism. He received a Purple Heart for being wounded in combat. He also had a meritorious service medal for his time in combat. Jessica’s mother had met him after he’d been shot in the leg, hence the brace. Duty and service were essential to him, and he told his family that he’d never married because he didn’t want to burden a wife with that kind of life. Even when he retired after 30 years of service, he taught ROTC first at a college in Oklahoma and then at a high school in North Carolina.



She was sad that he’d died before she could meet him, but learning all this about her father gave her a sense of pride and belonging. She changed her last name to “Dudley.” And even though it was during the pandemic, she drove from her home in Connecticut to Fort Bragg, North Carolina, where her father is buried. She found his gravestone and ran her fingers over the inscription, name, rank, and birth and death dates. She placed flowers there and at the grave of one of her friends, a fellow soldier with whom he served. She opened a bottle of his favorite cognac and poured a bit on each grave.



“I’d waited so long to find him, so the least I could do was go to his grave,” Jessica said. “I’m very proud of my father even though I didn’t ever meet him.”



Jessica has met her cousins and plans to move to the West Coast to be closer to them.



“I feel so complete,” she said. “I feel I’m home. I feel like I belong.”

A photo of Jessica at Sand Hill Cemetery touching her birth father's gravestone.

A Veterans’ Day Story From 23andMe

The first thing you notice about Aaron Harris is his ever-present smile.
It punctuates his conversation even when he describes the parts of his life that were dark and joyless.
Born premature, at just 26 weeks, Aaron was a &#8220;micro-preemie&#8221; who struggled in his first year just to survive.
He came into this world addicted to the same opiates that his mother and father had been using. He weighed just one pound, 4 ounces, and spent his first months on oxygen. The doctors and nurses who cared for him didn&#8217;t think he would make it. If he survived, they feared he&#8217;d end up blind or deaf. That didn’t happen but it was a struggle. By the time he was one, his parents — who had two infants, twins born less than a year before Aaron — had abandoned him to foster care.
&#8220;I went through a lot,&#8221; he said with a smile and a nod of his head.

 <figure class="wp-block-image size-large is-style-default"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="512" height="512" src="https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/aaron-harris-1.png" alt="" class="wp-image-29124" srcset="https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/aaron-harris-1.png 512w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/aaron-harris-1-150x150.png 150w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/aaron-harris-1-300x300.png 300w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/aaron-harris-1-271x271.png 271w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/aaron-harris-1-372x372.png 372w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 512px) 100vw, 512px" /></figure>
 
<h2>A Revelation</h2>
He&#8217;s now trying to unravel it all. So that he can understand where he came from, who he&#8217;s related to, and maybe a bit of what makes him who he is now. Several years ago, an aunt gave him 23andMe as a gift. It was a revelation for someone who was adopted and didn&#8217;t know much about his origins.
&#8220;I didn&#8217;t even know any medical history,&#8221; said Aaron, who is making a documentary about his experience called And Then There Were Seven.
He always assumed he was Latino because of his complexion but learned through 23andMe that he was Native American. Suddenly the Native American summer camps he happened to go to and the draw of the culture made more sense.
&#8220;It&#8217;s really cool to get a glimpse of my genetics,&#8221; he said. &#8220;So, I&#8217;m like 60 percent white guy, which is super funny because I&#8217;m brown. But I find out I&#8217;m 40 percent Native American.&#8221;
<h2>Authentic Self</h2>
Knowing that bit about himself helped a lot.
&#8220;It helped me pursue my authentic self,&#8221; he said.
Yet Aaron also wanted to know about any siblings out there. In part, he was worried about the children his birth parents kept, the twins. He&#8217;d learned about them from his adoptive mom and never stopped thinking about them.
Despite everything he went through physically, the only lingering physical effect was scarring in his airways from the oxygen tubes used to help him breathe in the ICU. He has pulmonary dysplasia and is prone to bronchitis and pneumonia. But instead of hardening him, the emotional scars of those early experiences and being abandoned by his birth parents created in him a deep well of empathy for others. He knew he was lucky. He wanted to know what happened to his siblings.
<h6>You&#8217;re Meant to be Aaron&#8217;s Mom</h6>
During his first three years, he was largely cared for by nurses or foster parents, but a woman, a play therapist, would visit during that time. Her name was Eva and she bonded with Aaron. She’d come when it wasn&#8217;t her shift, ensuring he had a stable caregiver. She was concerned he&#8217;d have trouble bonding if someone didn&#8217;t interact with him. She would give him bottles regularly, take him for walks in the stroller when he was stronger. At one point, Aaron wound up back in the hospital.
His foster mom looked at the play therapist and said, &#8220;I think you&#8217;re meant to be Aaron&#8217;s mom.&#8221;
Eva was still young and only recently married. She and her new husband, Shane, a rookie firefighter, adopted Aaron. A day later, she discovered she was pregnant with Aaron&#8217;s adoptive sister, Tatum.
Aaron grew up in Ventura. During his teen years and early 20s, Aaron began to come to terms with his gender identity, eventually transitioning to male. That experience gave him an innate connection with outsiders, the forgotten, and people looked over or cast away by others. He also never forgot that he had siblings out there, the twins. Both Aaron and his mom never stopped thinking about those two kids. They worried about them.
<h2>Searching</h2>
Aaron had tried a bit of sleuthing to find them. A few years ago he&#8217;d posted what information he had about his birth parents on a search site for adoptees — names from his adoption and social service records. He&#8217;d found some newspaper clippings related to criminal cases against his parents that included a description of his birth mom&#8217;s tattoo. That helped lead him to his paternal uncle. But once the uncle learned that Aaron was transgender, he ended contact with him.
Aaron kept searching.
Fast-forward to May 2021. He saw he had a new 23andMe DNA Relative match with a first cousin. They quickly connected. Within half an hour, he learned from his cousin that he didn&#8217;t have just two siblings, but six, and that they&#8217;d all been adopted by a couple in Maryland—Heidi and Doug—who had two children of their own. The couple had promised their birth mom that she would keep them together.
In all, his birth parents, who struggled with addiction and were in and out of jail, had seven children born in five years. There were two sets of twins, and six of the seven children were like Aaron, born addicted to opiates. Five were born prematurely.
Aaron&#8217;s cousin helped him connect with each of the siblings in a group chat. They&#8217;d known about Aaron, having learned about him through their uncle, and they knew he was transgender, but that wasn’t an issue for them. They just wanted to find him. <img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="alignright wp-image-29123 size-full" src="https://blog-api.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/aaron-surrounded-by-siblings.png" alt="" width="274" height="512" srcset="https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/aaron-surrounded-by-siblings.png 274w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/aaron-surrounded-by-siblings-161x300.png 161w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 274px) 100vw, 274px" />
Once she learned he&#8217;d found his siblings, Aaron&#8217;s mom insisted he see them as soon as possible. So he, his mom, Eva, and his sister Tatum flew to Maryland a few weeks later to meet his newfound siblings.
&#8220;Tatum said it was like being with a bunch of alternate versions of me,&#8221; Aaron said. &#8220;We&#8217;re just so much alike, and I can see myself in all of them.&#8221;
<h2>Permission</h2>
During his time in Maryland, Aaron also had the chance to meet his birth mom.
Despite everything, he said that at least she knew she couldn&#8217;t care for her children and helped ensure that they stayed together and were adopted by the same family. Heidi and Doug, the couple in Maryland who, with their two biological children, helped keep them a family.
But Aaron also said that he harbors some anger toward her and his birth father as well. He had so many questions he knew she wouldn&#8217;t be able to answer. And although she was pleasant to him, she also avoided being alone.
&#8220;It&#8217;s hard because I try to be patient, loving, and kind, but I had these feelings,&#8221; Aaron said. &#8220;It still hurts.&#8221;
But he also felt empathy for her and himself, permitting himself to feel the way he felt. But more striking was what he felt toward his siblings. This powerful connection wasn&#8217;t just biological. It was that they, too, had experienced the same pain. He thought about how all of them had survived despite an early life marred by drug abuse, poverty, and neglect. They&#8217;d each been given a second chance by families who adopted them loved them, and raised them to be who they are.
And it&#8217;s that idea that drives him now.
&#8220;I want to share our story of struggle, adoption, perseverance, hope, family, and love with the world.&#8221;

Aaron Harris standing with his two brothers and four sisters.

Stories — Page 4