Our customers often share their stories with us, which are both moving and motivating as we get to see the real impact 23andMe results can have in people’s lives.
One such story came in recently from Bev Glaspey of Lake Placid, Florida. Bev called it her ‘Family Christmas Story,’ because it was about the best kind of present, a gift of family.
This is their story.
<div id="attachment_25935" style="width: 1034px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-25935" src="https://blog-api.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/IMG_1636-e1513622666512-1024x609.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-25935 size-large" width="1024" height="609" srcset="https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/IMG_1636-e1513622666512-1024x609.jpg 1024w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/IMG_1636-e1513622666512-300x179.jpg 300w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/IMG_1636-e1513622666512-768x457.jpg 768w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/IMG_1636-e1513622666512-880x524.jpg 880w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/IMG_1636-e1513622666512-1180x702.jpg 1180w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" />At their first meeting in early December, from left to right, Florence&#8217;s half-brother Robin, her daughter Bev, and Florence.</div>
Bev’s mom, Florence Axelson was born in Chicago in 1922, and adopted when she was 1 year-old. For all of her 95 years she had almost no information about her birth family. The one exception was that back in the mid-1970s Florence applied for a passport and in the process she also had to get a copy of her birth certificate.
Getting that document also got Florence the first bit of information about her origins, her biological mother’s name. But when she tried to use that bit of information to get more details about her adoption she hit a brick wall. The records, she was told, had been destroyed in a fire.
There was little more that she had to go on, and over time life got in the way of searching. That didn’t mean it wasn’t something she thought about. In fact, all of her daughters, Bev and Bev’s two sisters, all wondered about their mother’s family. Even simple things, like what their family’s nationality was, remained unknown.
That is until Bev purchased a 23andMe kit for herself and her mom. Bev started exploring their DNA Relatives, finding cousins she never knew she had. The closest was a cousin named Cathy, who was the key to unlocking Florence’s story.
Cathy&#8217;s mom, who is still alive, is Florence’s half-sister.
“Mom found out she was the firstborn child to a young unwed mother,” Bev said.
She learned that she didn’t just have one half sibling, but her biological mother had 12 children in all, three of her half-sisters and one half-brother are still living.
Florence was able to talk to two of her half sisters, and then at 95 she was able to meet her half brother Robin and his wife Kim for the first time when he came in early December to visit her at her assisted living facility.
“I was able to find mom’s birth mother’s family,” Bev said. “This has been a wonderful gift to our family. “

23andMe Blog

23andMe Blog Team

One Family’s 23andMe Christmas Story

Every day for 55 years, Ida Pollack thought about her baby, wondering if she’d made a mistake in letting him go.
As she’d told the Omaha Herald recently, she always asked herself the same thing: “Did I make the right decision?’”
Now she finally has the answer thanks to 23andMe.
A few weeks ago Ida, and the son she raised Travis, met her first born, Barrie Bode, who Ida gave up for adoption as a frightened 19 year-old.
The meeting in New York City gave Ida the peace of mind that even though giving him up was hard it was the right thing to do.
“I was glad I did after I met him and found out what kind of life he had. He had wonderful parents,” she said.
<div id="attachment_25930" style="width: 1034px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-25930" src="https://blog-api.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/LMW0670-e1513285850598-1024x560.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-25930 size-large" width="1024" height="560" srcset="https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/LMW0670-e1513285850598-1024x560.jpg 1024w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/LMW0670-e1513285850598-300x164.jpg 300w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/LMW0670-e1513285850598-768x420.jpg 768w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/LMW0670-e1513285850598-880x481.jpg 880w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/LMW0670-e1513285850598-1180x645.jpg 1180w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/LMW0670-e1513285850598-271x149.jpg 271w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/LMW0670-e1513285850598-372x204.jpg 372w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/LMW0670-e1513285850598-574x315.jpg 574w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" />Family gathering for the first time in New York City. From Left to right, Barrie Bodie, his son Alex, Travis and Ida. </div>
&nbsp;
Their story isn’t just about Ida, but about Barrie and his brother Travis. Coming together in New York just before Thanksgiving was the culmination of months of talking and emails between Travis and Barrie.
They’d been able to find each because Barrie’s son had used 23andMe and so had Travis. Alex and Travis matched on the DNA Relatives tool as predicted first cousins — Travis and Barrie are biological half brothers.
When he first saw the match, Travis was a bit confused.
“I know all my first cousins,” he said, but he didn’t know who Alex was.
But Travis also knew that first cousins can share a similar amount of DNA as a nephew or half nephew. And he knew that his mother had given up a baby for adoption when she was a teenager. So Travis called her and asked her about the baby’s date of birth. So when Travis finally connected with Alex, he knew what to ask. “Was your dad adopted?” And “what is his date of birth?”
The dates matched his mother’s first born. Travis figured out that Alex’s father, Barrie, was his brother, and his mother’s first born.
The two connected talking on the phone for hours. For Ida the news took a little time to settle in, but soon they were making plans to meet in person.
For Barrie, who over the decades had made efforts to find his biological family, meeting his mother was a bit overwhelming. Like a lot of adoptees, he wasn’t even sure his biological parents would want to meet him.
“You always have that fear that the person might not want you to find them,” Barrie told the Omaha World Herald.
In this case, Ida and Travis welcomed him and his son Alex with open arms. For Ida meeting her son has opened a new chapter in her life.
“It’s something you’ve been thinking about your whole life, and suddenly it’s the beginning of another story,” she said.
[vc_video link=&#8221;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2KutYiOTC8&#8243; align=&#8221;right&#8221;]

A Family Reunited Using 23andMe

Thanksgiving is about family. A ritual that weaves together each generation, sharing old memories, making new ones, and seeing in all that, the common heritage we share in our DNA.
A few days ago 23andMe invited about half a dozen families to come together for a holiday dinner and a chance to meet a newfound father, mother, brother or sister for the first time. 
“It’s an emotional thing for me because I always thought I was as an only child,” said Barbara Saunders, just before meeting her sisters Ida Sturgill and Joyce Randall. <img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://blog-api.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/LMW0704-1024x683.jpg" alt="" class="aligncenter size-large wp-image-25902" width="1024" height="683" srcset="https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/LMW0704-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/LMW0704-300x200.jpg 300w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/LMW0704-768x512.jpg 768w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/LMW0704-880x587.jpg 880w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/LMW0704-1180x787.jpg 1180w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /> The meeting in New York just before Thanksgiving was the culmination of months of talking and email after the sisters had connected using 23andMe. Now they were getting a chance to see each other for the first time.
“I have chills,” said Ida, before Barbara walked in and all three sisters hugged.
Their embrace and disbelief at seeing and touching their newfound sister were much like what rippled through each family that came together.
Standing with her son, Travis, Ida Pollock looked both excited and nervous, as she waited to meet “my son that I gave up for adoption 55 years ago.”
Barrie stood with his son, Alex, pinching himself that this was all possible. As she entered the room and their faces flushed with emotion, he uttered, “Oh my goodness,” and embraced his mom, and then his brother. 
Ida said she felt thankful. Bodie felt overwhelmed.
“To have everything come full circle like this is just beyond being thankful,” he said.
As Natosha Brown walked in and saw her biological father, William, and her four sisters and a niece, her father said he had been searching for her since he’d learned of her birth. 
“I feel like we have 36 years to make up for,” Natosha said. Smiling and crying the sisters embraced. Her father captured the feeling of everyone who was there.
“It’s a blessing and its thanksgiving, so what better time,” he said.
See more about the families that met for the first time using 23andMe <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zY7JOD4eQR0&#038;list=PLFvkfbvHpp1kU9nvguZrZ2Y7nYc8_swVA">here</a>. 
&nbsp;
<iframe loading="lazy" width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/zY7JOD4eQR0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe>

23andMe Family Stories for the Holiday

Adoptee Night at Tuesday’s Major League Baseball game between the Minnesota Twins and Chicago White Sox in Minneapolis, will be a return home for Holly Choon Hyang<img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://blog-api.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/Mixed-Roots-Foundation-Portrait-Logo-with-IDU-Tagline-Centered-01-300x284.png" alt="" class="alignright size-medium wp-image-25666" width="300" height="284" srcset="https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/Mixed-Roots-Foundation-Portrait-Logo-with-IDU-Tagline-Centered-01-300x284.png 300w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/Mixed-Roots-Foundation-Portrait-Logo-with-IDU-Tagline-Centered-01-768x727.png 768w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/Mixed-Roots-Foundation-Portrait-Logo-with-IDU-Tagline-Centered-01.png 806w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /> Bachman, founder, and president of the LA-based<a href="https://mixedrootsfoundation.org/"> Mixed Roots Foundation</a>
This is the 5th annual Adoptee Night at the Twins home field. The night is meant to honor those touched by adoption and foster care. For Holly it’s become an annual affair since founding the Mixed Roots Foundation in 2011. It’s also something that she’s duplicated elsewhere putting together a few dozen similar events with other MLB teams, as well as professional soccer teams, the NBA, and soon the NFL.
“We want to raise awareness and funds,” said Holly, herself an adoptee from Korea who was raised in Minnesota.
She hopes that adoption and the journey of adoptees and foster kids become as familiar to everyone as America’s pastime, baseball.
<div id="attachment_25664" style="width: 190px" class="wp-caption alignright"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-25664" src="https://blog-api.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/1a-180x300.jpg" alt="" class="size-medium wp-image-25664" width="180" height="300" srcset="https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/1a-180x300.jpg 180w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/1a.jpg 261w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 180px) 100vw, 180px" />Holly just prior to her adoption.</div>
Holly wants to connect with the families who often flock to these games. As little as a generation ago, it was more taboo to talk openly about adoption, but that has changed. An estimated 100 million people are “touched by adoption” in the United States, meaning that someone in their family is adopted or that they know someone who is adopted, according to the Council for Adoption. There are about 500,000 children are in the foster care system.
Holly hopes that this generation will recognize that adoption and foster care is about more than just finding homes for kids who need it; it also involves supporting families and adoptees beyond the actual adoption process, she said.
“Because I&#8217;m adopted, I know that there needs to be more post-adoption resources,” Holly said. “With that, two of our core initiatives for Mixed Roots Foundation are mentoring and DNA testing.”
In particular, testing is used to find biological relatives, but it also helping with family medical history or learning about ancestry. Up to half of all adoptions cross some cultural or ethnic line, according to Mixed Remix Foundation.
For Holly, with her roots from South Korea but adopted into a family with European ancestry, her journey started in high school when she first traveled to Korea and connected with her own Korean ancestry.
With the power of science and technology, adoptees now have access to tools to help them search for biological family, or to connect with their ethnic and cultural roots. Up to half of all adoptions cross some cultural or ethnic line, according to some estimates.
With assisting adoptees and their families discover their biological and cultural roots, Mixed Roots Foundation’s name “mixed roots” came out of this idea of the intermingling of an adoptee’s cultural, biological and adoptive families roots. Part of an adoptees journey is reconciling all of that with their identity, and that’s why there’s a strong diversity message in everything that Mixed Roots does, Holly said.
“We all have mixed roots,” she said. “Learning about that is fundamental to our identity.”
Hosted by the MN Twins and Mixed Roots Foundation, the night is co-sponsored by 23andMe, and the<a href="https://mixedchicks.net/"> Mixed Chicks</a>, maker of the multicultural hair products for men and women with mixed ancestry will be throwing out the First Pitch. Native MN Korean Adoptee singer and song writer,<a href="http://www.kimberlymichaels.com"> Kimberly Michaels</a> will perform the National Anthem.
To learn more, donate or volunteer with Mixed Roots Foundation, please visit <a href="http://www.mixedrootsfoundation.org">www.mixedrootsfoundation.org</a> or follow on social media@mixedroots.

Adoptee Night in Minneapolis

When Ryan’s mother and father adopted him as an infant, there was a typewritten note slipped into his adoption records with a message from his birth parents:
“We pray that you are happy,” it said.
For most of his 36 years, Ryan has been happy, and for most of his life, he’s been searching for his birth parents to tell them that in person.
“I was [happy]. I am, and I always will be,” Ryan said recently.
This year on his birthday, after all those decades of searching, he typed out his own message listing the reasons he feels blessed. At the end of that list he said this:
“Today, July 29th, my family and I met my birth parents and their families,” Ryan wrote. “Today, on my birthday … for the very first time I can see them, hug them, and tell them ‘Thank You,’ which is the greatest birthday gift that I could ever receive. Today my family gets new members. Today I can share with them all the happiness and love in my life. Today, I am so thankful.”
<div id="attachment_25615" style="width: 970px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-25615" src="https://blog-api.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/20479643_10207976905895232_8908593567052941357_n.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-25615 size-full" height="540" width="960" srcset="https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/20479643_10207976905895232_8908593567052941357_n.jpg 960w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/20479643_10207976905895232_8908593567052941357_n-300x169.jpg 300w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/20479643_10207976905895232_8908593567052941357_n-768x432.jpg 768w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/20479643_10207976905895232_8908593567052941357_n-880x495.jpg 880w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 960px) 100vw, 960px" />Ryan on the right meets his biological father Ed, his biological mother, Karen and his biological sister Caroline  for the first time on his birthday. Photo: <a href="http://www.jacpfef.com/">Jackie Foley</a> </div>
But like all good things, this good thing didn’t come easy.

<h5>Where it started </h5>
Ryan&#8217;s parents adopted him in North Carolina, which has closed adoption records. So even though he always knew he was adopted, finding out more about his origins was problematic. On top of that, because his dad was in the Army, the family moved a lot. 
<div id="attachment_25619" style="width: 970px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-25619" src="https://blog-api.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/20604263_10207976904415195_3109513256002552356_n.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-25619 size-full" height="640" width="960" srcset="https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/20604263_10207976904415195_3109513256002552356_n.jpg 960w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/20604263_10207976904415195_3109513256002552356_n-300x200.jpg 300w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/20604263_10207976904415195_3109513256002552356_n-768x512.jpg 768w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/20604263_10207976904415195_3109513256002552356_n-880x587.jpg 880w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 960px) 100vw, 960px" />Ryan meeting his father for the first time. Photo: <a href="http://www.jacpfef.com/">Jackie Foley</a></div>
His parents, Jack and Terri Moore, picked up the family — Ryan and his younger sister Allisen — as they moved to posts that ranged from Kansas to Korea. That made it harder for Ryan to track down records. But it didn’t stop him from looking or asking questions. When Ryan was in 5th grade, he did an oral report for class at Spencer Elementary School in Chicopee, Massachusetts. The assignment was on what was unique about his family, and his topic was his adoption. 
&nbsp;
<h5>Life Gets In The Way</h5>
Two years later was when he first read that note from his birth parents.
But as he got older, even though he was still trying to find his biological family, he eventually had to put his search on hold. 
“Life got in the way,” Ryan said.
There was college, the Army, deploying to Afghanistan, starting a new career, and getting married. The years slipped by, and his search was pushed to the side until he and his wife Debby decided to have kids — two sons, Ian, 5, and Ellis, 3. 
It was that last milestone that again stirred in Ryan the need to know more about his biological family.
“I always wanted to know,” said Ryan, 36. “But having a family that sparked in my mind, ‘OK I got to find this out.’” 
Like most adoptees, when Ryan visited a doctor and had to answer questions about whether he had medical issues in his family, he was at a loss.
“I have no idea.” 
That was easy to brush off when it was just about him, but having kids changed that.
“I realized that I didn&#8217;t have any health history information for our son,” Ryan said.
<h5>We have to find them </h5>
At first, that meant just diving back into his adoption records; he found “crib notes” from a foster parent that took care of him before his parents adopted him. Ryan’s wife immediately saw in those notes parallels with the type of things she’d seen with their first son.
<div id="attachment_25616" style="width: 310px" class="wp-caption alignright"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-25616" src="https://blog-api.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/20526063_10207976905815230_2891730427791474607_n-300x200.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-25616 size-medium" height="200" width="300" srcset="https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/20526063_10207976905815230_2891730427791474607_n-300x200.jpg 300w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/20526063_10207976905815230_2891730427791474607_n-768x512.jpg 768w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/20526063_10207976905815230_2891730427791474607_n-880x587.jpg 880w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/20526063_10207976905815230_2891730427791474607_n.jpg 960w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Ryan&#8217;s parents, Jack and Terri Moore watch as he meets his biological parents. Photo: <a href="http://www.jacpfef.com/">Jackie Foley</a></div>&#8220;We have to find them,&#8221; she told Ryan.
But the paper records didn’t get him very far with closed adoption policies. Then last year, his wife gave him a 23andMe kit for Christmas. He saw it as a chance to learn about his ancestry and health, and maybe find more about his biological family. The health and ancestry information offered a refreshing opportunity to learn things he hadn’t know about himself. The family stuff came later.
About a month ago, someone popped up on his DNA Relatives as a predicted uncle. It’s hard to convey how momentous something like this is for an adoptee. It was the first person he was ever connected to biologically, his first blood relative.
Ryan took a long time working on the wording of his message. He was afraid that he might say something that would turn this newly found relative away. That’s not what happened.
Almost immediately after sending a carefully worded note, he got a response.
&#8220;He is my uncle,&#8221; Ryan said, describing the response. &#8220;He knows of me. He wants to help.”
<h5>Contact</h5>
When in the past it had taken years, decades even, to find the smallest of details, Ryan found himself on the edge of learning the whole truth in just hours. Two days after that exchange with his uncle, while he and Debby sat and watched a performance of Hamilton on Broadway, Ryan got a text that changed his life forever:
&#8220;Ryan, your biological mother, Karen, and myself, Ed, your biological father, have hoped and dreamed of this day.&#8221;
Soon, they talked on the phone, and Karen and Ed spoke with Ryan&#8217;s parents Jack and Terri. His wife spoke with them. So too did his sister Allisen. Ryan learned that he had another sister, a full sister, named Caroline. And he learned a bit of the back story.
His biological father, Ed, had been in North Carolina helping his dad open a new restaurant while on summer break from college when he met his biological mother, Karen, who was also in college but working a summer job. They started dating but went back to school in the fall, and that&#8217;s when she found out she was pregnant. They agreed that adoption was the best option. After Ryan&#8217;s birth, Karen and Ed drifted apart, but several years later they met again and married, and had Caroline, Ryan&#8217;s biological sister. It was a few years after that they got a divorce but remained amicable, and continued to live near each other in the Boston area.
<h5>Best Birthday Present Ever</h5>
<div id="attachment_25614" style="width: 310px" class="wp-caption alignright"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-25614" src="https://blog-api.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/20597315_10207976901815130_2834176105222409161_n-300x200.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-25614 size-medium" height="200" width="300" srcset="https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/20597315_10207976901815130_2834176105222409161_n-300x200.jpg 300w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/20597315_10207976901815130_2834176105222409161_n-768x512.jpg 768w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/20597315_10207976901815130_2834176105222409161_n-880x587.jpg 880w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/20597315_10207976901815130_2834176105222409161_n.jpg 960w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Ryan, center, with his new extended family on his birthday. Photo: <a href="http://www.jacpfef.com/">Jackie Foley</a></div>
After Ryan finally found them, they all arranged to get together in person at Ed&#8217;s home on Ryan&#8217;s birthday. It turned out to be the best gift.
It was a shock, seeing family members who looked like him and even shared some of the same mannerisms. Ryan and his biological father share an odd trait of raising their voices an octave or two when they kid around, and they both love Formula 1 racing.
&#8220;That whole nature versus nurture thing is hard to get your head around,&#8221; Ryan said.
But Ryan was just as excited that his biological parents could meet his parents, Jack and Terri. He wanted them to see how lucky he was to have the life that they had given him.
&#8220;I have lived a happy life,&#8221; he said. &#8220;I know how hard the decision was that they made 36 years ago, but I wanted to express to them how thankful I am for it.&#8221;

Ryan’s Search For Family

Annie was looking at a note from a woman she didn’t know. Someone she’d been searching for all her life. A woman named Harley, who just might be her biological mother.
<div id="attachment_25598" style="width: 310px" class="wp-caption alignright"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-25598" src="https://blog-api.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/IMG_2842-300x300.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-25598 size-medium" height="300" width="300" srcset="https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/IMG_2842-300x300.jpg 300w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/IMG_2842-150x150.jpg 150w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/IMG_2842-768x768.jpg 768w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/IMG_2842-1024x1024.jpg 1024w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/IMG_2842-880x880.jpg 880w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/IMG_2842-1180x1180.jpg 1180w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/IMG_2842-271x271.jpg 271w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/IMG_2842-372x372.jpg 372w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/IMG_2842-574x574.jpg 574w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/IMG_2842-980x980.jpg 980w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Harley, on the left, and Annie.</div>“I can’t wait to talk to you,” Harley told her in the email. “Here’s my phone number.”
Annie tried to describe what she was feeling at that moment.
“I’m freaking out,” she said. “I literally almost vomited on the floor.”
Annie’s story — and it’s a doozy — is set to air this week on a new podcast called My Gay Life.
The Seattle-based producers Rebecca Fernandez and Cyndi Butz-Houghton put the show together. Annie’s story, titled “Are you my mom?” is just the second episode, so the team has already set the bar pretty high.
Rebecca, who gave us the heads-up on Annie’s hour-long story, told us it made them all “laugh, cry and get goose bumps.” Not a bad review. We heard it, and all of us here were right there with the Kleenex and group hugs.
In Rebecca’s quick summary of the story, she said, “(It) features a 30-year-old lesbian who was reunited with her birth mother — partially in thanks to 23andMe.”
But the story is way way more than that.
It’s about Annie first coming out to her parents at 14. (Her father was like “Duh”, but her mom was a little surprised.) What it was like to grow up “hella gay, in a hella small town.” And the story is about Annie finally finding a solid relationship with her partner, Alejandra, and about building strong bonds with her adoptive family, as well as with Alejandra’s parents.<div id="attachment_25599" style="width: 310px" class="wp-caption alignright"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-25599" src="https://blog-api.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/IMG_2837-300x300.jpg" alt="" class="wp-image-25599 size-medium" height="300" width="300" srcset="https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/IMG_2837-300x300.jpg 300w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/IMG_2837-150x150.jpg 150w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/IMG_2837-768x768.jpg 768w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/IMG_2837-1024x1024.jpg 1024w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/IMG_2837-880x880.jpg 880w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/IMG_2837-1180x1180.jpg 1180w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/IMG_2837-271x271.jpg 271w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/IMG_2837-372x372.jpg 372w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/IMG_2837-574x574.jpg 574w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/IMG_2837-980x980.jpg 980w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/IMG_2837.jpg 2048w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />A picture of Annie on the right as a teenager, next to a photo of her mother Harley as a teenager, on the left.</div>
Annie’s story is unique, but much of what she talks about will sound familiar to other adoptees, like growing up and being keenly aware that, unlike her friends, she didn’t look like her parents, or the fact that she didn’t have a family tree, or even a family medical history.Annie knew that she was born in a small town in Idaho and that she’d been handed over to her adoptive parents when she was just 12 hours old. That was the extent of what she knew of her birth. So what she carried her whole life were questions about her origins and the mother who gave her up for adoption.
But, as someone who had a wonderful, loving relationship with her adoptive parents, asking those questions brought up other uncomfortable issues. She didn’t ever want her parents to feel like her search meant that she felt they were in any way inadequate. Many adoptees express similar feelings. So much of her searching was internal. She thought about her biological mother more than she went out and searched for her.
“When you’re adopted and don’t know where you come from, or what your family looks like, you make up this vision,” said Annie.
For her, it was creating this “cookie cutter” version of a family with a mom who had the perfect hair, at home baking cookies.
The truth was a little different than that, Annie said. And after learning about everything, she felt she was fortunate that it took this long, because maybe earlier in her life she might not have been ready.Then this year after turning 30, Annie said she was finally feeling ready to answer the biggest question of her life:Where did I come from?
“My life was falling into place, so I decided I would start looking again,” Annie said. “I was at a point mentally that it was OK.”
Other things seemed to fall into place as well, and almost immediately after beginning her search, she started getting answers, first through a free search site for adoptees and then using 23andMe to confirm her connection. Within 24 hours, she connected with Harley, who shared photos.Right away some of the fantasies about her birth mother were set straight. Her birth mom had tattoos and worked in a bar. Annie, who has tattoos of her own, said the photo went counter to her idolized version of her birth mother, baking cookies at home.
“That was not what I was expecting,” Annie said.
At first, Annie didn’t even see the resemblance. She thought that once she talked to her birth mom, there would be this instant connection. That didn’t happen, but as they talked Annie felt drawn to her. And she heard for the first time the story of her birth. It was hard to hear.
Her birth mother was just 17 when she became pregnant. She ran away from home, but came back just before the birth. They told her that the baby would be adopted, so she asked her dad if she could at least see the baby after she was born. He said of course, but that’s not what happened. She never saw Annie. She didn’t even know if she had had a boy or a girl. Her parents had told her conflicting stories, even giving her wrong information to hide where Annie ended up.
Everything wasn’t cookie cutter and perfect for her birth mom. She had two more kids, two sons, who went to live with her sister and mother in Olympia, Washington. Harley spent some time in jail for a drug offense. One of the many twists in the story was that at one point, after being moved, Harley’s cellmate was one of Annie’s closest childhood friends.
Not long ago, Annie traveled to Sand Point, Idaho to meet her biological mother. She called it the “biggest day of my life.” And oddly she’s grown closer to her adoptive parents through all this.
As she thinks of everything that has happened in such a short time — she only began searching again in May — she realized that perhaps she could have solved the mystery of her birth long ago, “but I wasn’t ready.”
It wasn’t until now that she was ready. The timing was perfect.
Alejandra, Annie’s partner, told recently how the experience seemed to change her.
“’You are happy now,’” Alejandra told her. “It’s a positive change. You have a bounce in your step.’”
We’re feeling a little of that bounce. You can too by listening to Annie’s story <a href="https://soundcloud.com/mygaylife/episode-102-are-you-my-mom">here</a>.
And here&#8217;s a video of Annie going back to Sand Point to meet Harley for the first time. If you are not a patient person you can go to about the 3:30 mark, but keep the Kleenex close.
<iframe loading="lazy" width="640" height="360" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/P-pv-3COjnU" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe>

Listen To Annie’s Story

It was a simple Mother’s Day gift, but it took 47 years to deliver it. <img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://blog-api.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Star-Advertiser-e1495228883750-227x300.png" alt="" class="alignright size-medium wp-image-25337" width="227" height="300" srcset="https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Star-Advertiser-e1495228883750-227x300.png 227w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Star-Advertiser-e1495228883750.png 346w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 227px) 100vw, 227px" />
Last week, on the island of Kauai, Tod Walker, a musician and father of two, got to hug his mom, Marguerita “Landis Gravenor, for the first time.
“I can’t stop hugging her and holding her hand,” Tod told a writer with the <a href="http://www.staradvertiser.com/2017/05/14/hawaii-news/lee-cataluna/son-reunited-with-mom-in-time-for-mothers-day/">Honolulu Star Advertiser</a>.
An adoptee, who found his birth mother with the help of 23andMe, Tod’s story was featured in the Mother’s Day edition of the paper.
Seeing him after giving him up as a baby was something his mom had been waiting for all these years.
“When I hugged him at the airport, it was just tears of joy,” said Marguerita, who was an unwed teenager when she had Tod. “It wasn’t heavy, like sadness or guilt. It was just joy. I was holding my son.”
Read the story <a href="http://www.staradvertiser.com/2017/05/14/hawaii-news/lee-cataluna/son-reunited-with-mom-in-time-for-mothers-day/">here</a>.

A Mother and Son Reunion

Sarah Biggers hadn’t been looking for a mother. She already had one.<img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://blog-api.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Sarah-Biggers-and-her-birth-mom-Wendy-300x225.jpg" alt="" class="alignright size-medium wp-image-25276" width="300" height="225" srcset="https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Sarah-Biggers-and-her-birth-mom-Wendy-300x225.jpg 300w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Sarah-Biggers-and-her-birth-mom-Wendy-768x576.jpg 768w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Sarah-Biggers-and-her-birth-mom-Wendy-1024x768.jpg 1024w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Sarah-Biggers-and-her-birth-mom-Wendy-880x660.jpg 880w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Sarah-Biggers-and-her-birth-mom-Wendy-1180x885.jpg 1180w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />
“I didn’t have a need to find my birth family,” she said.
But when she became pregnant, the fact that she didn’t really know anything about her biological family weighed more heavily on her. For years, whenever she had a doctor’s visit, or a physical, she couldn’t offer any information about her own family medical history. That part of the forms was also a blank, so with a baby on the way she wondered what she would be passing on to her child.
“I had that moment where I was like ‘I have no idea what to expect,’” she said.
Then for Mother’s Day, her husband got her 23andMe as a gift.
“Who would have thought that sending off a little spit would one day connect you with someone so deeply,” Sarah said.
<h4>A Connection</h4>
Sarah’s results connected her with a second cousin, and together they quickly deduced that her cousin’s mother and Sarah’s grandmother were sisters. From there, they figured out who Sarah’s mother was. It took Sarah a few months to compose a letter.
“I thought if this was the only thing that I get to say to this woman, I need to do it right,” she said. “I wanted to tell her everything was not just OK, but better than OK.”
Sarah didn’t want to disrupt this woman’s life. Sarah just wanted to make sure she knew she was happy, married and the mother of a beautiful young girl.  She sent off the letter and waited, for weeks and weeks.
“I literally was checking every day,” Sarah said.
And then in November, more than a month later, Sarah heard back.
“It was the most beautiful message and so sweet and everything an adoptee would want and need to hear,” Sarah said. “I can’t describe that feeling.”
Her biological mother, Wendy, received the letter, but it took her a long time to respond. When she did, Wendy apologized for the delay. Even though she thought of her daughter every day, she explained, she hadn’t spoken about her to anyone else in all that time.
“The note you sent me was an answer to every single prayer that I ever prayed for you,” Wendy wrote. “That you were loved, healthy, successful and happy.”
These letters started a flurry of more messages back and forth and then a few marathon-long phone calls, as Sarah shared with Wendy her story and Wendy told Sarah of her birth.
<iframe loading="lazy" width="640" height="360" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/RD0OnLsgfFs" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe>
&nbsp;
<h4>Capturing Time </h4>
Wendy had been in high school when she got pregnant. She went away to a group home for unwed mothers where she had to finish school while she waited to deliver her baby. At the group home she stayed with other girls from different walks of life, all in the same predicament. When the baby came, Wendy was alone in the hospital. She begged to be allowed to have more time with her baby, and was permitted to stay an extra day. Wendy was 19 years old and for more than three decades she never talked about what happened to anyone, that was until she met Sarah.
Even though she never talked about her baby, Wendy said she never stopped thinking about the girl she’d given birth to on a night in August 1984. She kept her baby close to her two days, rocking and singing her to sleep with the words to the 70s pop song,<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1YxczPEPrs"> “Time in a Bottle.&#8221;</a>
And then Wendy gave her up. Sending her off with an outfit and blanket she’d crocheted herself, and a letter that told her daughter’s new parents that she never would come to disrupt their lives, or come searching for “Lauren Elizabeth,” the name she’d given Sarah. But if her daughter ever came in search of her, “I’ll never turn her away.”
Then she was gone. Over the years, all Wendy had left was a memory and a snapshot of her infant daughter taken secretly with a Kodak camera. She kept the photo in her nightstand, saying a prayer for daughter every night, and every August on her infant’s birthday she’d have a cupcake. At Christmas, she’d send a gift to another child in her baby’s honor.
Wendy eventually married and, at 32, had another daughter, Hannah. She always thought the daughter she gave up would one day find her — Wendy even set aside fine china for a gift for her wedding. And then did Sarah find her.
The two met in person on the coast of North Carolina earlier this year. Sarah got to meet her grandmother, and her half sister, Hannah, who has also tested with 23andMe. Sarah and her sister share about 26.6 percent of their DNA, relatively high for half sisters. They, in turn, have also met Sarah’s husband and daughter. 
“I just can’t say enough how amazing this is for people and how life changing,” Sarah said. “It’s just so awesome, that you can spit in a tube and in the end it would complete your life.”

Sarah’s 23andMe Mother’s Day Story

The best things take time, or at least that’s one way of looking at why Jonathan Hay waited so long to meet his biological mother in person.<img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="alignright size-medium wp-image-25211" src="https://blog-api.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/jon-hay-quote-300x300.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="300" srcset="https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/jon-hay-quote-300x300.jpg 300w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/jon-hay-quote-150x150.jpg 150w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/jon-hay-quote-768x768.jpg 768w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/jon-hay-quote-880x880.jpg 880w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/jon-hay-quote-271x271.jpg 271w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/jon-hay-quote-372x372.jpg 372w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/jon-hay-quote-574x574.jpg 574w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/jon-hay-quote-980x980.jpg 980w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/jon-hay-quote.jpg 1000w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />
“I’ve been avoiding it for two years out of fear,” said Jonathan, a music producer and publicist.
But the fear evaporated when the two finally met in February.
“It was a life-changing experience that instantly helped unwrap all the emotional bondage and deep rejection that a lot of adopted people suffer with,” he said. “Looking in her eyes, I could see the decades of pain, loss and love that penetrated to the soul. I was finally home.”
We first<a href="https://blog.23andme.com/ancestry/how-i-met-my-father/"> wrote about Jonathan</a> when he found his biological father two years ago.
Adopted in Florida, Jonathan could identify his birth father, Ronnie Bradley, and a half-brother, Ryan, after connecting with a close cousin using 23andMe.
Jonathan also got some help from an adoption search expert in the state. Together, they were also able to identify his mom and fill in some of the blanks around his birth and adoption.
His dad told him that Jonathan was a new Navy enlistee living in San Diego when he was born. He didn’t even know his former girlfriend had been pregnant and only learned about Jonathan’s birth after getting the legal papers to give up the baby for adoption. 
Jonathan’s mom, Pam Nicely, lived in Florida and was still a teen struggling for her future.
After piecing together the story, Jonathan—ever the publicist—decided to create a reality show about meeting his birth parents for the first time. He began to pitch the idea for what, at first, he called “The Haymaker.” Everything was in place, but he couldn’t escape the fear of an in-person contact. 
That changed in November of last year when he met his brother Ryan for the first time.
“He’s actually the first person I met from my biological family,” Jonathan said.
His brother was able to give Jonathan even more background on the family, and most importantly, Ryan knew how Jonathan could contact his mother.
When Jonathan finally called his mom and planned his trip to see her in Ashtabula, Ohio, he didn’t bring any cameras.
“Everyone wanted to film it, but I just decided to keep it private,” he said.
Spending time with his biological mother, getting to know her, ask her questions helped relieve some of the fear Jonathan had.
“Meeting her really gave me the strength to follow through with the TV show,” he said. “I was kind of at a roadblock in my life emotionally, but that was a breakthrough.”
Now he is gearing up to begin filming in Florida in April for an in-person meeting with his dad. The show is now tentatively titled “Daddy Issues” and features Jonathan’s daughters, Iliana Eve, 14, and Hannah Lynn, 16. Both girls also have budding music careers that Jonathan is trying to support. 
As for the show, Jonathan said he’s working with Angie Fenton, a well-known Louisville television correspondent. Part of the attraction of working with Fenton was that she underwent this process herself. Fenton documented her journey meeting her biological father in an Oxygen network series called “Finding My Father.&#8221;
“We&#8217;ve been talking to A. Smith Productions as well,” said Jonathan. “(There are) a lot of options for the show. We need to get the pilot done first, which is what we are filming in April in Florida.”
Whatever happens with the show, Jonathan said using 23andMe to connect to his biological family sent him on a pilgrimage that is helping him unpack the complicated emotional baggage he’s been carrying through his life.
“Thank you so much for creating your product,” he said.

Adoption — Page 3