After she retired from teaching theater at a Florida college, Julia Gagne’s life took on its own unexpected dramatic arc.
<img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="alignright size-medium wp-image-24256" src="https://blog-api.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Julia-Doug-300x300.jpg" alt="Julia &#038; Doug" width="300" height="300" srcset="https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Julia-Doug-300x300.jpg 300w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Julia-Doug-150x150.jpg 150w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Julia-Doug-768x768.jpg 768w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Julia-Doug-880x880.jpg 880w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Julia-Doug-271x271.jpg 271w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Julia-Doug-372x372.jpg 372w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Julia-Doug-574x574.jpg 574w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Julia-Doug-980x980.jpg 980w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Julia-Doug.jpg 1000w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />
Although she’d been adopted at birth more than 65 years ago, Julia hadn’t spent much time searching for her biological family. When she tested with 23andMe a few years ago, it was more to simply learn a little about her ancestry.
She was a little curious about what else she might learn, but she didn’t expect it would change her life.
She understands how all that sounds overly theatrical – she’s directed enough plays to know – but this plot twist is real.
“It sounds dramatic,” Julia said, “Because it is dramatic.”

<h6>Her Early Search</h6>
Julia was raised in a loving family. She didn’t really pine for her biological family, but in the early 1980s she did get some records from the state of Michigan about her adoption. There was nothing in the records that would help her identify her birth mother, but Julia learned her mother’s age, what she did for a living and her level of education. That and a few other facts were all she found. She filed those papers away for a few decades and went on with her life. Then a few years ago, Julia signed up for 23andMe.


“The results were interesting,” she said.


She didn’t find any close relatives, at least not at first. And then about a year ago she got a close relative match, someone listed as a first cousin. For Julia, who had never met or known any biological relative, finding a first cousin was a big deal. She was taken aback.
“What?” she thought.
<h6>Her First Connection</h6>
So using 23andMe she sent the man a message, explained who she was, where she was born and when. And, of course, she told him that she’d been adopted. Then she waited.
“A few weeks later, I received a message that would change my life,” Julia said.


She’d actually been out with a friend, getting ready to go into a movie, when she noticed she’d gotten an email. She opened it up and read.


“I think you are my aunt. I think your mother was Beatrice,” her newfound nephew said. “I think you have a half brother who is alive, and a half sister who has passed on. But let&#8217;s figure it out.”


And there was more.
“He gave me a phone number, and told me my brother was waiting for me to call,” Julia said.
<h6>
 Much in Common</h6>

Of course, she called.
On the other end of the line was her brother, Douglass Fiero, also a retired college professor, although he taught literature, not theater.
The connection was immediate. Doug hadn’t known of Julia’s existence, but the timing of her birth suddenly made sense.
A few years older than Julia, Doug remembered a time when he was nine and his sister six and they spent two months sleeping in the kitchen of his father’s small apartment. His parents had been divorced, and his mother who’d been raising him and his sister, had left the children with their father for a time. That’s when Julia was born.
On the phone so many years later, Julia and Doug spent a lot of time trying to get to know each other. He told her about her half sister, who’d passed away, about his sons and his work. But most of all Doug wanted Julia to know about their mother.


“Probably the most intelligent person I’ve ever known,” he said.

<h6>Their Mother</h6>

Julia saw a little of herself, but also some of the same traits that so distinguished her own adoptive mother. Both her mother who raised her and her biological mother attended college in Kalamazoo. And both women ran businesses and raised kids on their own at a time when that wasn’t common.


“The main thing I wanted to do when we first talked was to tell (Julia) about our mother,” Doug said. “She is really important. Someone, who along with my wife, is the most significant person in my life. I was really excited to share that with (Julia). It’s been a wonderful and startling thing to be able to do that.”
Julia eventually visited Doug and his wife in New Jersey. They shared their own histories, and the coincidences in their lives: Julia’s love of theater had been sparked by a summer stock theater, uncannily the same theater to which their biological mom took Doug and his sister when they were children; moreover, Julia spent all of her career and Doug spent the major portions of his career teaching at the university level.
For Julia it’s the kind of drama that would be hard to make up, and she’s still a little shocked that after so many decades she’s pieced together the story of her birth.
“My birth mother had told no one of my existence,” she said “Without the DNA analysis at 23andMe, I would never have found any members of my birth family. No adoption registry would have provided answers ever. I am very grateful, incredibly surprised and delighted by this turn of events. It is still somewhat incredible to me that this could happen after more than six decades of life. Amazing.”

23andMe Blog

23andMe Blog Team

Drama in the Family

For his big birthday Adam Keim wrote out a to-do list titled – “40 for 40.”<img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="alignright size-medium wp-image-24145" src="https://blog-api.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Adam-quote-300x300.jpg" alt="Adam quote" width="300" height="300" srcset="https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Adam-quote-300x300.jpg 300w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Adam-quote-150x150.jpg 150w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Adam-quote-768x768.jpg 768w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Adam-quote-880x880.jpg 880w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Adam-quote-271x271.jpg 271w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Adam-quote-372x372.jpg 372w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Adam-quote-574x574.jpg 574w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Adam-quote-980x980.jpg 980w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Adam-quote.jpg 1000w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />


It included little things like walking across the Golden Gate Bridge, volunteering for a day, and getting a massage.
“These are mostly things I have never done, things I have needed to do, and a few that I haven’t done in a long time,” Adam wrote across the top.


These were modest endeavors for a man facing his 40s, who wanted to spend a little time savoring what’s around him, take better care of himself, and maybe have some fun. But if you saw the list, you’d wonder why it took Adam until number 27 to include the one thing that he was always curious about – start researching who his biological family was.
“I always knew I was adopted but I never did anything about finding my natural parents,” he said.


Adam knew that he was born in San Diego, he was adopted when he was 4-months old, and that the foster parents called him Mike.
“I really knew nothing more,” Adam said.


Then Adam’s partner, Steve, gave him a 23andMe kit for Christmas. Little did Adam know, it would open up an entirely new personal history.

<h6>Starting from Scratch</h6>

From his 23andMe results, Adam found many DNA relatives including a few second and third cousins who sent him messages. They exchanged messages, but quickly realized it would be hard to determine the source of their DNA connection because of Adam being adopted.


&#8220;I had nothing to offer them,” he said. “No surnames. No history. Nothing at all.&#8221;


When Adam had just about given up on 23andMe and his search for his birth family, a bizarre string of messages changed his life.

<div style="float: right; text-align: justified; width: 350px; background-color: #eee; padding: 15px; margin-left: 10px;">Finding Lisa
Authorities believe Lisa was kidnapped as a toddler and held by a man until she was five. The man who took her was convicted of murder for killing a woman and sentenced to prison. He later died in prison without revealing where Lisa came from.

Now 30 years later, detectives from the Crimes Against Children Detail of the San Bernardino County Sheriff’s Department are working with genetic genealogist and DNA expert Barbara Rae-Venter to find Lisa’s biological family. Lisa, whose name is being withheld to protect her current identity, was too young at the time of her abduction to know or give any information about her biological parents or where she is from. Authorities are not even sure in which state or country she was abducted; her abductor had been in Quebec, Canada and all over the United States from the New England states to California.

They are not even sure when Lisa was born, but estimate it was about 1981, based on Lisa’s dental development at the time she was recovered. They also believe she was younger than two when she was abducted.For more information on the case or to learn how to help, email Barbara Rae-Venter at GenealogyConsult@gmail.com. Barbara is a retired patent attorney who specialized in biotechnology. In addition to a J.D., Barbara has a Ph.D. in biology, and before attending law school, taught biochemistry and endocrinology at the University of Texas Medical Branch in Galveston,Texas.

</div>
A profile had appeared on his list of DNA relatives that wasn’t there previously. It listed Lisa as a likely second or third cousin.
He started receiving messages from a woman named Barbara Rae-Venter who was working with Lisa, and she asked Adam to “share genomes”.


She told him she was a volunteer with DNAadoption, and asked him to send his response to the DNAadoption website query line and that she’d in turn be able to put him in touch with a volunteers who could help him in his search.
<h6>
 More about Lisa</h6>

Even after sharing genomes, Adam was suspicious about the strange messages. He thought it might be a scam or ploy to get money from him. So after not replying to some of her messages, he got a long message from Barbara. She explained that she was working with a deputy from the San Bernardino County Sheriff’s Department to help Lisa – not her real name – learn who she is and try to find her own biological family.
As a toddler, Lisa had been kidnapped and was held captive for several years. After a few years, she managed to escape. Her kidnapper was later arrested and put in prison, where he later died. Unfortunately, he never offered up any information about Lisa’s origins, and as a result, the authorities could never identify Lisa’s biological parents to reunite her with her family.
Now more than 30 years later, with the help of expert researchers and genetic genealogists, as well as advancements in DNA testing, they are trying to help Lisa finally find answers. (See the sidebar to learn more about Lisa’s story and the effort to help her.)


At first the story they told seemed so awful that Adam had a hard time believing it.
“It was like something you see on a Thursday night TV crime show. This type of stuff doesn’t actually happen to real people,” Adam said.


They asked Adam for his help.
<div id="attachment_24148" style="width: 310px" class="wp-caption alignright"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-24148" class="wp-image-24148 size-medium" src="https://blog-api.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Rob-Adam-300x277.jpeg" alt="Rob &#038; Adam" width="300" height="277" srcset="https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Rob-Adam-300x277.jpeg 300w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Rob-Adam.jpeg 537w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Adam, on the right, and his brother Robert.</div>
He quickly shared his birth certificate and adoption records with Barbara, which included his adoptive mother’s maiden name and his birth date.
<h6>Finding His Mother</h6>
This information would allow Barbara, with the help of an adoption search angel, Diana Iwanski, to obtain information from his original birth certificate through a reverse look up microfiche. Within a day, Barbara and Diana had obtained Adam’s mother’s maiden name, his half-brother’s name (Robert), as well as the name Adam was given at birth – Michael Richard Kravan.


Although the deputy asked Adam to wait before trying to contact any family members until he could confirm the information on his birth mother by obtaining a copy of his original birth certificate from San Diego County, that didn’t stop Adam from looking online. Within minutes of learning his birth name and the name of his half-brother, he quickly found his profile on Facebook. It was there that Adam found pictures of his birth mother.
“When I saw them I just started balling my eyes out,” he said. “It’s hard to describe, being in your 40s and your whole life not knowing anything about your birth family and then all of a sudden, you see them. It all happened so fast. I went from getting a crazy email about a kidnapped girl to finding my birth family within a few days.”


All those emotions were mixed together when the deputy got back in touch with Adam a few months later and gave him the OK to contact his birth mother, Patti.
When they finally spoke on the phone, they were both overwrought with emotion. He tried to put her nerves at ease by explaining that he held no judgement, just joy for giving him life.

“I told her I had a great life and am very happy. I am very grateful that she put me up for adoption versus one of the alternatives.”

<h6>Close to Home</h6>

Patti and Robert only lived a few hours from Adam’s home in Oakland, California. He drove up to meet Robert first, then met Patti a few weeks later. The three met several times in those first few months and spent many hours together talking. Adam started getting answers to the holes in his past, and his mother was able to explain to Adam why he’d been given up for adoption.
“She had three children – all with different men,” Adam said. “She was a troubled young woman at the time; lots of drugs and alcohol and unfortunate situations that made raising a child tough.”


She in turn told him that he had another older brother, who she hadn’t seen for decades. Now Adam has put finding his oldest brother on his list of things to do in the coming year.
“Now that I’ve started learning about my birth family, I want to learn more and more,” Adam claimed.
<div id="attachment_24152" style="width: 310px" class="wp-caption alignright"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-24152" class="size-medium wp-image-24152" src="https://blog-api.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Adam-His-Grandfather.001-300x193.jpg" alt="Adam's high school graduation picture, right, and a photo of his grandfather." width="300" height="193" srcset="https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Adam-His-Grandfather.001-300x193.jpg 300w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Adam-His-Grandfather.001.jpg 450w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Adam&#8217;s high school graduation picture, right, and a photo of his grandfather.</div>
<h6>
 Finding his birth father</h6>

His own search led to finding an uncle, Aaron, who is a half-brother of his birth mother, whom she never knew about before. Aaron’s father, Adam’s maternal grandfather was an actor in the 70s and 80s, and shares a striking physical resemblance to Adam.
DNA testing of Adam’s birth mother confirmed that Adam was connected to Lisa through his biological father.
Based on the family tree that Barbara built for Lisa and DNA information, both Lisa and Adam are connected to a man who was one of each of their closest matches. Through that connection Barbara identified the family she believes also include Adam’s father. DNA testing of a member of that family identified him as likely an uncle of Adam’s. But the definitive answer about who his father is, is still being sought. It’s another piece of his and Lisa’s puzzle they are trying solve.
He still can’t help but feel heartbroken by his cousin Lisa’s story.


“She deserves to find her family too,” he said. “I owe her so much and I look forward to the day I can meet her and thank her in person.”


The whole experience has brought peace to Adam. He always felt a disconnect with his adoptive family; they didn’t always get along and had very different personalities and interests. Now, finding relatives who are outgoing and creative like him, not to mention share physical and character traits, gives him a sense of belonging he didn’t have before.


“This entire experience has helped explain why I am the way I am,” he said, “and I am forever grateful.”

A List For Midlife

By Jonathan Fischer
My name is Jonathan Fischer.
I was adopted shortly after birth in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Not <img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="alignright wp-image-24099 size-medium" src="https://blog-api.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Jonathan-F-quote-300x300.jpg" alt="Jonathan F quote" width="300" height="300" srcset="https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Jonathan-F-quote-300x300.jpg 300w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Jonathan-F-quote-150x150.jpg 150w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Jonathan-F-quote-768x768.jpg 768w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Jonathan-F-quote-880x880.jpg 880w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Jonathan-F-quote-271x271.jpg 271w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Jonathan-F-quote-372x372.jpg 372w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Jonathan-F-quote-574x574.jpg 574w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Jonathan-F-quote-980x980.jpg 980w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Jonathan-F-quote.jpg 1000w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />knowing more than where I was born, I always wondered about my origins and who my parents were. But I was also afraid about what I might find out, so for years I did nothing.
Then not too long ago I tried 23andMe.
Little did I know how much it would change my life.
My decision to take the leap and explore where I came from started in a small cafe along Alki Beach in West Seattle in the summer of 2013. I sat and talked to a dear friend, who is also a genealogist. I told her about both my curiosity and my fears.
She recommended trying 23andMe, so I did.


Right away I learned some health information, and that I was over 3 percent Neanderthal, something my wife says explains a lot.
But I also found people I was related to genetically. Using 23andMe’s “DNA Relatives,” I connected with many cousins some very distant and others much closer and even received a message from one of these close cousins. Turned out he was related to me through my paternal side, and, fortunately for me, he was also a genealogy buff.
He told me that finding me – a second cousin he’d never heard of – piqued his interest. How were we connected, he wondered. Our emails finally led to a phone conversation.
Although my initial intent hadn’t been to find relatives, when he asked me if I wanted to know the identity of my biological father, I didn’t hesitate:


“Yes!” I told him. 
Analyzing a family tree, he used a simple process of elimination to identify the man he thought was my father, and offered up a name.
After that phone conversation I wondered what I had just done. I had no idea what piercing the veil of secrecy would mean for me or this man and his family, but finding a name pushed me to take the next step, so I began taking a more traditional approach: filling out a form with the state of Wisconsin’s Department of Children and Families asking for my adoption file. This would give me access to a redacted file of my adoption.


What I got was my birth certificate and some basic facts about my biological mother but without any identifying information. I learned that only a single parent was listed on my original birth certificate, as my biological mother had not chosen to establish paternity. Although paternity was not established, there were details from the caseworker about my alleged father. Enough detail in fact that I was able to compare some of that information to the information supplied by my newly found second cousin, giving me some confidence that indeed I had the correct name for my biological father.


So in January 2014 I took a deep breath, and wrote him a letter.
The day it arrived, my biological father called four times trying to get in touch. When I got home from work, I quickly called him back and we talked into the night. It was like being born all over again. He confirmed that I was indeed his son, something we triple checked later when he also tested with 23andMe. We stayed in touch and arranged to meet in person.
In August of 2014 I met him, his brother, my uncle, and my half-brothers and sisters at a family dinner arranged for my visit. I had to muster all my courage to walk into that room. While my half-brothers and sisters were initially shocked to find out they had an older brother, they were friendly but guarded. Our relationship has grown since then.
Back when I had asked the state for my adoption file, I had also checked a box requesting contact with my biological mother. I was fortunate for how easy it was for my caseworker to find her.
Because of the success with my father, I also I got my hopes up that I would get a chance to meet her too. But that was not the case, at least at first. After much consideration she declined to establish contact. For years, I’d never allowed myself to even hope I would find her, but being so close and then her declining to make contact was disappointing to say the least. I was crushed.
But I decided not to let it go at that. I still wanted to know who she was.
Using the information I had from my case file, as well as information from the 1940 Census, I found her name. Although there was nothing stopping me from writing her a letter, I felt any contact that didn’t go through the state would be totally inappropriate. Occasionally I would Google my mother’s family. It was a difficult time. I worried that although I knew who they were, I’d never get a chance to meet them.
Then I thought of a quote from the Book of Lamentations:
“The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.”


So I waited.


In May of 2016, I was visiting my biological dad for his birthday when I received a text from my wife. Check your email she said. There was a message from my caseworker telling me that my biological mother had changed her mind. She was ready to have contact, and my caseworker wanted to know if I was still interested in meeting her. I said yes, emphatically.


A few weeks later I went to Michigan to meet my mom, and my half-brothers and half-sister and their families.  My half brothers and sister were delighted to find out that my existence was real after all.
Since connecting with them, I’ve been able to establish close relationships with both my biological parents. I talk to my mother every week and my father daily.


I’m a lucky man. I once had but one family, now I have three. My adoption experience was special and I was fortunate to have been adopted by a very loving, successful, happy and intelligent couple. After adopting me my parents conceived my sister.
Now I’ve met both my biological parents and their families, who are also filled with successful, happy and intelligent people. I’ve gone from having one sister to having ten siblings, and a passel of nieces and nephews. Not many adoptees have this kind of success finding biological relatives.
I guess I would have to say that I’m a very lucky guy thanks to 23andMe.


Jonathan is a CPA living in the Pacific Northwest with his wife and two kids.

A Lucky Man

Sandi had 50 years to prepare for this moment, but as she walked off a plane in Sacramento she felt the anxiety and doubt well-up inside.
&nbsp;
<div id="attachment_23917" style="width: 210px" class="wp-caption alignright"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-23917" class="size-thumbnail wp-image-23917" src="https://blog-api.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/Candance-Christine-Sandra-Sandi-200x200.jpg" alt="From left Candace, Christine, Sandra and Sandi, having lunch the day Sandi met them for the first time." width="200" height="200" />From left Candace, Christine, Sandra and Sandi.</div>
“It was like the night before you get married and you get cold feet or jitters,” said the 50 year-old mother from New Hampshire. “You just know that in a moment your life is going to change, and you worry that maybe you’re not ready.”


Adopted at birth in Florida, Sandi had spent her whole life looking for her biological mother, wondering if she was out there somewhere.
Then after decades of searching without success, she found her after discovering a second cousin named Steve on 23andMe. Her cousin, who is about ten years older, had remembered when his aunt, Sandi’s mom, was pregnant with her. 
<div id="attachment_23916" style="width: 210px" class="wp-caption alignright"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-23916" class="size-thumbnail wp-image-23916" src="https://blog-api.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/ChristineSandi-200x200.jpg" alt="Christine, left, and her sister Sandi." width="200" height="200" />Christine, left, and her sister Sandi.</div>
It was through Steve that Sandi was able to connect with her mother and sister. Sandi’s trip across the country – just two weeks before Mother’s Day – was her chance to meet her mom for the first time. It was a meeting she’d fanaticized about her whole life, but as Sandi got closer to meeting her mother, she became more and more nervous.
While she splashed water on her face in the airport bathroom and ratcheted up her courage, her mother Sandra Freeland and Sandi’s sisters, Christine Herrera and Candace Campbell – who she was also meeting for the first time – had their own anxious moments as they waited for her in the terminal.
Christine had already bonded with Sandi through Facebook and several phone calls, but seeing Sandi in person for the first time triggered all sorts of emotions.
“There was so much going on inside me it’s hard to describe what I was feeling,” said Christine, who is Sandi’s full sister.


All her life, Christine felt like something or someone was missing. She had known most of her life that she had a sister out there, who’d been given up for adoption by her mother. Now after finding Sandi she felt like she was uncovering a missing part of herself.
For their mother, Sandra, meeting her daughter Sandi instantly brought her back to the few days she had with her as a newborn just before giving her up. At the time she’d been an out-of-work single mother trying to raise another another young daughter. County social workers in Florida had encouraged Sandra to give up the newborn for adoption, telling Sandra that if she kept Sandi there was a chance she’d lose both of her girls. It was an awful choice, but Sandra thought that giving up Sandi would offer her a better life than she could give her. But it was agony letting her go.
“I never stopped thinking about her,” Sandra said more than 50 years later. “Never. She was constantly on my mind.”


Each of the women were wound tight with emotion as Sandi walked into the terminal and into her mother’s arms for the first time in 50 years. As they held each other Christine stood next to them with tears in her eyes and her hands over her mouth.
They held each other for a very long time, and then Sandra whispered into her daughter’s ear.


“I told her it felt so good to hold her again and that I never wanted to let her go,” Sandra said. “And then I told her that I always loved her and I never stopped loving her.”


As she looked into her daughter&#8217;s eyes she instantly remembered holding her as an infant and the staring into her young eyes then, she said.
Almost weak in the knees with her own emotion, Sandi said none of the millions of meetings she’d imagined having with her mother over the years was quite as good as what really happened.
Sandi had been raised by a couple who’d been unable to have children. They were older when they adopted her, and they both passed away by the time Sandi was just 25. Although she adored her adopted father, she said her relationship with her adopted mother was more difficult. Still Sandi is thankful they provided her a stable upbringing. But Sandi never stopped looking for her biological mother, and over the years she’d fantasized about meeting her.


“To be held like that was something I’d dreamed about my whole life,” Sandi said. “I mean, it was my own mom holding me in her arms telling me she loved me, telling me how much she loved and missed me my whole life. It was amazing.”


For Christine, too, the moment was a bit surreal and overwhelming.
<div id="attachment_23918" style="width: 210px" class="wp-caption alignright"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-23918" class="size-thumbnail wp-image-23918" src="https://blog-api.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/Candance-Sandra-Sandi-Christine-200x200.jpg" alt="From left Candace, Sandra, Sandi and Christine." width="200" height="200" />From left Candace, Sandra, Sandi and Christine.</div>
“I’m still in awe, still dumbfounded by it,” she said.


Just 11 months younger than Sandi, Christine said meeting her sister – their older sister had passed away more than a decade ago – was also something she’d dreamed about. Deep down Christine always thought she’d been a twin, and that missing twin sister was out there somewhere. Finally meeting Sandi and spending time with her she felt like reconnecting a missing part of herself. The connection she has had with her sister is like nothing she experienced before.
After meeting at the airport, Sandi spent a few days with Christine, and then met her extended family at a dinner in Sacramento – including her cousin Steve with whom she connected on 23andMe and who helped her find her mother. Sandi also got some more one-on-one time with her mother. She had a week on the coast before having to return home to her own kids.


“It’s crazy to have spent my whole life looking and then to finally find her,” she said. “It’s been amazing. It’s something I’ve yearned for my whole life, and that yearning never went away. It was important to hear that I wasn’t some kind of mistake. That I was loved and missed.”


And now she has someone she can wish Happy Mother’s Day.

Mother’s Day Delayed

An accomplished scientist and businessman, Stephen Levine has spent his whole life <img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="alignright size-thumbnail wp-image-23645" src="https://blog-api.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/Stephen-Levine-200x200.jpg" alt="Stephen Levine" width="200" height="200" />searching.


That restlessness is driven by a quest that is both emotional and intellectual, a desire to learn more about the world around him and himself. It was also driven by what he calls a deep emotional trauma. But that intense curiosity about who he was and where he came from was recently rewarded with a family connection he could have only made with the help of 23andMe.
“There is a lovely tender, tear rendering story here,” said Stephen, a Ph.D., who lives in Northern Washington and works in nutritional medicine.


He’d been adopted and grew up in Brooklyn in a family in which he felt alien and disconnected to his adoptive mother.
Using details from a story his adoptive mother told him about his birth, Stephen tracked down his biological mother when he was in his early 30s.
It wasn’t the kind of reunion he’d hoped for, however.
“She was a broken person, a street person,” he said.
His mother had agreed to meet him at a White Castle fast food restaurant in Brooklyn. It was a strange place for a mother and son reunion, and while he drove to the meeting, Stephen questioned whether he’d really found the right person at all.


“Intellectually I knew it was her, but emotionally I was so shaken up I just didn’t know,” he said.


But he thought to himself:
“If this is really my mom, then when I look at her face, I will know 100 percent,” he said. “And, she’ll have green eyes.”


Just after he parked his car at the restaurant a woman knocked on his window.
“I saw her face and I saw my face within it, with her green eyes,” he said.
Wanting to get to know her and learn more about his biological family, Stephen spent two days with her in a large hotel suite that he’d rented.
“She was obviously mentally imbalanced and depressed,” Stephen said. “I asked her many questions including the name of my biological father. She did give me his last name.”


After that initial meeting, he tried to develop a relationship with her, but it was too painful and difficult for her, he said. She eventually asked him to leave her alone.
His reunion with his mother stopped any additional searching for family for three decades until his own daughter, Ariel, reignited it when she tested with 23andMe.
Ariel’s 23andMe results showed a close connection with a woman she didn’t know. That woman, Marilyn, sent her a message. Marilyn wanted to figure out how they were so closely related. 23andMe showed that Marilyn was either Ariel’s aunt or a close cousin, and Marilyn’s father matched her as a grandfather.
Ariel told Marilyn, who was from Brooklyn, about her dad being adopted and originally being from Brooklyn. Marilyn and Stephen then connected and in an email exchange Marilyn asked Stephen if he knew his biological father’s last name. He told her he didn’t, only that it was a short name and started with “Z.”


“My maiden name is Zwick,” Marilyn emailed back.
“I knew in that instant, that this was the name that my mother had told me, over 30 years ago, and that this was my father’s family,” Stephen said. “I’ll never forget that moment.”
Stephen quickly booked a flight back to New York, renting an apartment where he met his sister Marilyn as well as his biological father and a collection of other relatives
At first his father, a retired sociology teacher, was standoffish, but as they talked it became obvious that Stephen was genuine. The two men looked a lot alike and even have similar mannerisms. At some point, it seemed to dawn on his biological father that Stephen was indeed his son.
He got up and walked over to Stephen, embracing him and saying:


“I have always wanted a son.”


It was more than Stephen could have hoped for, he said. They sat together and talked and Stephen learned that he and his father shared some of the same interests. They both liked doing yoga, meditation, and that they have some of the same sensibilities. For Stephen, who’d been searching for so long, meeting his biological family was a revelation.
“They accepted me,” Stephen said. “In my mind why should they love me, but they do. It’s very deep healing.”

Deep Healing

Total strangers, John and Rhonda have one thing in common, the same father.<img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="alignright wp-image-23484 size-medium" src="https://blog-api.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/JR-quote-300x169.jpg" alt="J$R quote" width="300" height="169" srcset="https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/JR-quote-300x169.jpg 300w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/JR-quote-768x432.jpg 768w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/JR-quote-880x495.jpg 880w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/JR-quote-980x553.jpg 980w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/JR-quote.jpg 984w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />


The two made that discovery earlier this year after using 23andMe.


“Nobody knew about John,” said Rhonda, a 55 year-old marketer in Buffalo New York.


For John, recently retired and 67 who also lives in the Buffalo area, DNA testing was the only way he would have ever found Rhonda and information about his biological father. For both of them the test helped lead them to clues about their father and a tangled history of multiple families and an ongoing search for siblings spread out through generations and geography.
“I now have a printed family tree that  takes three trees to show and is  so long, it covers the top of two long tables,” said John. “(Testing has) been a positive experience for me and a healing experience for the family. I&#8217;ve been welcomed with open arms.”


Being orphaned, along with his half brother, from his single mom when he was just 10 had been so traumatic for John, that he blanked out all the memory of his childhood. He couldn’t even remember his mother’s face until a few years ago when he saw a photo of her for the first time. That had been out of sheer luck, after a mutual acquaintance connected him to his cousin and elderly aunt. John believes it may have been more than luck with a little help from his mother, watching from above.
It was his aunt and cousins who had the photo and tidbits about his mother. John and his family enjoyed a series of reunions in the US and in Italy over the past 5 years. His aunt also shared with John the one bit of information she had about his biological father, his father’s first name.
<div id="attachment_23482" style="width: 210px" class="wp-caption alignright"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-23482" class="size-thumbnail wp-image-23482" src="https://blog-api.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/John-Vitale-200x200.jpg" alt="John Vitale" width="200" height="200" />John Vitale</div>
“There is no way I could have identified the family on my father&#8217;s side,” he said. “All I had to go on was his name was Marvin, and I only learned that a couple of years ago.”


But for both John and Rhonda using 23andMe to explore their ancestry changed not just what they knew about their families and their background, but their understanding about themselves.
John had thought he was Italian, but was “shocked” to learn he was half Ashkenazi Jew on his father’s side.


“I knew nothing about my father, I assumed he was Italian,” said John. “My mother&#8217;s family is Italian with roots in Sicily and Milan.   I was raised Catholic.”
Learning about his Jewish ancestry, didn’t change his beliefs, but it did change his perceptions.


“It has made me more sensitive and curious of the Jewish faith,” he said.


For Rhonda, who was raised by a Jewish mother, learning about about her biological mother’s Catholic background put certain things about herself in context. It also raised a lot of “nature versus nurture issues” for her.


“I grew up as an only child, in a family that I was very different from,” she said. “I look nothing like, or act nothing like, my adopted mother or father.”


And then there was the connection she made using 23andMe to her biological family for the first time – not just to John, but also to a full sister named Trisha.
That connection with her sister was so strong that Rhonda wonders if there’s a chance that they might actually be twins separated and adopted out to different families.


“When I met Trisha, it felt like I was talking to myself,” Rhonda said. “The similarities were astounding.”


23andMe also helped Rhonda connect with her oldest living half-sibling, who is unrelated to John. She was one of the 2 children born to her mother when her mother was in an internment camp in Germany. It was that woman, Danuta, who gave Rhonda much of what she knows about her mother, including her mother’s history with Marvin and the other children she bore him.
<div id="attachment_23483" style="width: 210px" class="wp-caption alignright"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-23483" class="size-thumbnail wp-image-23483" src="https://blog-api.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/rhoried-pic-200x200.jpg" alt="Rhonda Ried" width="200" height="200" />Rhonda Ried</div>
All of Rhonda’s full siblings were adopted by other families, she said. At least two of whom she’s connected with through 23andMe. Rhonda discovered she has 5 full siblings and 6 half siblings, including John. And there could be more, she said.
Now both Rhonda and John are hoping that they will be able to connect with other siblings. They are aware of two sisters in Arizona.


“We are becoming acquainted with members of the family living around the country,” John said.


They have scheduled a virtual family reunion on Skype in a few weeks, but their search continues.


“I fully expect we’ll find others,” said John. “We’ll just keep looking.”

Nobody Knew

Abandoned as an infant in a Minneapolis laundry room almost 50 years ago, Liz Kellner used 23andMe to help <img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="alignright size-thumbnail wp-image-21929" src="https://blog-api.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/Liz-Quote-200x200.jpg" alt="Liz Quote" width="200" height="200" />her piece together the story of her birth.
In the process, she was able to connect with a biological sister, Tammy, who like her had been abandoned as an infant; the sisters have pieced together their stories, connected with other siblings and even found their biological parents.


We first <a href="https://blog.23andme.com/ancestry/putting-it-together/">wrote about Liz</a> two years ago, and a few days ago, ABC News covered Liz and Tammy’s story.
Their story was also recently covered by the <a href="http://www.twincities.com/localnews/ci_29002587/woman-left-baby-at-st-paul-hospital-finds" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Pioneer Press</a>. You can check out the ABC News piece below.
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<iframe loading="lazy" width="640" height="360" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/thFNeUTh_iw" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe>

Sisters Connecting After 50 Years

When Kelle Scott connected with some distant cousins on 23andMe she didn’t realize
<div id="attachment_23409" style="width: 310px" class="wp-caption alignright"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-23409" class="size-medium wp-image-23409" src="https://blog-api.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/pat-kelle-300x169.jpg" alt="Pat Nosoko" width="300" height="169" srcset="https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/pat-kelle-300x169.jpg 300w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/pat-kelle-768x432.jpg 768w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/pat-kelle-1024x576.jpg 1024w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/pat-kelle-880x495.jpg 880w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/pat-kelle-1180x664.jpg 1180w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/pat-kelle.jpg 1920w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Pat Nosko</div>
she’d also stumbled on the perfect gift for her mom – family.


Kelle’s mom, Pat Nosko, was adopted, and never knew her biological parents. Kelle had originally used 23andMe just to find out a little bit about her family’s ancestral background, but what she found was a missing branch on her family tree.


“This was a most unanticipated result,” Kelle said.
Her mother, Pat, was adopted in 1950. She knew what her name had been at birth, Charlotte Farmer. She knew where and when she was born, but not much else. Although Pat wanted to know more, she said she never pursued a search in part because she didn’t want to hurt her adoptive parents.


“I was adopted by lovely people,” she said.


And Pat never felt like there was a hole in her life she needed to fill, so she left it alone for 65 years.


Then her daughter tested with 23andMe, connected with a third cousin named Jane, who’d began piecing together an extensive family tree. When she asked Kelle for information about her mom, Kelle told Jane her mom
<div id="attachment_23412" style="width: 310px" class="wp-caption alignright"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-23412" class="size-medium wp-image-23412" src="https://blog-api.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/pat-kelle-2-300x169.jpg" alt="Pat, left, and her daughter Kelle." width="300" height="169" srcset="https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/pat-kelle-2-300x169.jpg 300w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/pat-kelle-2-768x432.jpg 768w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/pat-kelle-2-1024x576.jpg 1024w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/pat-kelle-2-880x495.jpg 880w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/pat-kelle-2-1180x664.jpg 1180w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/pat-kelle-2.jpg 1920w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Pat, left, and her daughter Kelle.</div>
was adopted and she didn’t know much of anything. She did, however, know her mother’s birth date, and the name she was born with, Charlotte Farmer.
That little bit of information was enough and one morning before dawn, Kelle got a message from Jane.


&#8220;I think I found your mother&#8217;s birth mom,&#8221; Jane said.


It turned out that Pat’s biological siblings – she had six – had posted on three adoption message boards saying that they were looking for a sister, adopted in 1950, named Charlotte Farmer.
Those messages were like “bread crumbs” giving their biological sister a way to find them, if she wanted.
For Kelle this was momentous news, but the messages were old.


“I needed to give this information to my mom, but I’d hoped that first I could find at least one living relative who was looking for her,” said Kelle.
So Kelle and Jane kept searching, trying to find a living family member for Pat.
She had a name of one of Pat&#8217;s sisters, Angel Fitzgerald.
Pat had no idea.
<iframe loading="lazy" width="640" height="360" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/VnujfbhfVNA" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe>


“It was kind of amazing because I didn’t know any of this was going on,” said Pat.


Kelle found a few phone numbers for different women named &#8220;Angel Fitzgerald.&#8221; She didn&#8217;t know which one might be her mother&#8217;s sister. So she gave a few of the numbers to her mother.
One of the numbers she called, she asked for Angel Fitzgerald. When the woman said it was, Kelle asked her if she was the same Angel Fitzgerald looking for &#8220;Charlotte Farmer.&#8221; It was.
Pat was stunned.
“I was speechless,” she said. “It took me a little bit before I could speak.”


The sisters spoke for the first time ever, and Pat found all of her six siblings, their children, the aunt she’d been named for and the names of her mother and maternal grandparents.
Not long before Christmas, the sisters met for the first time in person.


“It&#8217;s the most amazingly beautiful gift I could have ever hoped to give my mother,” her daughter Kelle said.

A Most Amazing Gift

<div id="attachment_23295" style="width: 250px" class="wp-caption alignright"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-23295" class="wp-image-23295 size-full" src="https://blog-api.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/JohnBrian.jpg" alt="John&#038;Brian" width="240" height="294" />John, standing, with his sister Kathy and their half-brother Brian, who they found through 23andMe.</div>
Brothers from different mothers, John and Brian came together because of 23andMe.
For John, 68, finding a half-brother was the last thing he expected.
“I was shocked,” he said.
John used 23andMe because he’s interested in science. Since his days in high school biology class, John has always been curious about genetics. He wasn’t looking for family.
“Imagine my surprise when I found a half-brother,” he said.
Actually his results initially listed Brian as a predicted grandson – half siblings share about 20 percent of their DNA, the same percentage shared by a grandfather and grandson. There is also an 18-year difference in age between the two, so John had some tense moments trying to figure out his relationship with Brian.
But when Brian first contacted him by email, the message jarred loose a memory for John. He – and the rest of his immediate family – all knew that his Dad, who ran a photo studio in a coal-mining town in West Virginia, had had an affair with a woman who worked for him and that the woman got pregnant.
“We knew there was a child out there but that’s it,” said John, who eventually took over the family business.
<div id="attachment_23296" style="width: 235px" class="wp-caption alignright"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-23296" class="size-medium wp-image-23296" src="https://blog-api.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/Francis-John-Brians-Dad-225x300.jpg" alt="John and Brian's father." width="225" height="300" srcset="https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/Francis-John-Brians-Dad-225x300.jpg 225w, https://blogcms.23andme.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/Francis-John-Brians-Dad.jpg 240w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 225px) 100vw, 225px" />John and Brian&#8217;s father.</div>
Brian knew none of this.
He actually had no information at all about his biological family apart from some basic non-identifying facts about his mother – her religion and age for example.
Brian, a 49 year-old CPA living in Florida, often wondered about where he came from, but when he tested with 23andMe back in 2014 it was just to get some very basic information about his ancestry. He didn’t expect to find family.
When Brian first got his results he looked through his DNA Relative matches and among the long list of distant cousins, he saw one very close match, a relative with whom he shared 20 percent of his DNA.
“That’s close,” Brian said.
He just didn’t know how close. Looking at a 23andMe video Brian figured out that he and his close match were likely half siblings. For someone who’d never knew any biological relatives, this was a big deal. So Brian sent a message to his match and waited.
When John looked through the message from Brian and some of the facts he provided, he quickly figured out that Brian was his half brother. They began exchanging messages.
“I was a little leery about how he’d handle it,” said Brian. “It had to be shocking for him.”
Brian’s sister, who is also an adoptee, encouraged him to go forward with meeting John and his wife Jennie along with John’s sister Kathy and her husband Paul.
Brian didn’t just worry about how his existence would impact John and his family; he was also concerned about whether he’d be accepted. John and his family are religious and relatively conservative. His wife has a doctorate in theology and is a Christian counselor.
Brian was raised in a not very religious Jewish household, and he’s gay. He didn’t know what to expect.
“Over the years I imagined many different scenarios, so I went in with my eyes wide open,” Brian said.
John and his family welcomed him with open arms.
&#8220;I could not have asked for a nicer experience,” said Brian. “They were cordial, polite and respectful.&#8221;
John felt the same.
“It meant a lot to meet him,” said John. “I’m extremely impressed with Brian, his maturity and intelligence. He’s a good caring person.”
John also offered something to Brian that was invaluable, a vast collection of photos and even film of their biological father. Their father had run a photo studio business and was always taking pictures and filming.
Brian got to see his biological father at all these different stages of his life and even see how he moved, his mannerism and how he talked.
“It was more than I could have asked for,” Brian said.
Sharing that gave John his own sense of joy, he said.
Their father had a lot of flaws, John said, but everyone liked him. He had a big personality and John tried to share some of that with Brian.
“It meant a lot to me because it meant a lot to Brian,” John said.

Adoption — Page 4